Grace Abounds In This Place...

{I'm starting to think that it takes a true Jesus-loving man to love a woman who's about to be a Mama of five... Here is a short letter to the one who has lavished grace beyond measure these past few weeks...}

To my Love
{as we weave our way through these last few weeks of pregnancy}

Thank you.

Thank you for eating cereal or sandwiches five nights in a row...

Thank you for walking in the farm house door after a long days work and telling me to put my feet up while you do the dishes.

Thank you for grace... grace for the messy kitchen counters, and the unmade beds. Grace for the kiddos that look a bit like ragamuffins these days running around in mismatched clothes and dirt covered faces and feet. Grace for the broken windows and that silly door that keeps falling off in the bathroom.

Thank you for praying when you know my body is tired... thank you for Grace for the "five-minute rests" that have been turning into "two-hour naps".

Thank you for watching The Pioneer Woman's cooking show with me at night, even though I know you think she does this weird thing with her mouth when she talks, and you'd much rather be watching some sort of hunting show. :)

Thank you for reminding me to laugh and not cry when I bend down to pick something up and awkwardly attempt to make my way back up.

Thank you for telling me to take a bath while you put the treasures to bed.

Thank you for not making fun of me too much as I waddle my way around the farmhouse these days. 

Thank you for kindness in a season such as this. 

You carry a lot... and I notice... and I want you to know I'm so very thankful.

With love, 

Your very round wife

who loves you beyond measure...

PS... And as if, I hadn't broken enough things around here this month...
As I was wrapping up this post, a mouse ran across the kitchen floor and I tried to pop it with my BB gun but I'm such a great shot that I shattered the glass on the stove instead.

And you know what you said...
"It's just life.
It's just money.
Not to worry."

How do you do that?

Grace abounds here.

And I'm so thankful for you. :)

Laughter And Two Great Camping Chairs

We went camping this weekend, just for a night.

And yes, I'm 38 weeks pregnant, and camping wasn't really the first thing I had in mind for our weekend plans. But the Cowboy promised he'd take care of everything, and he did... cuz he's truly quite wonderful like that.

Before he came home on Friday, he stopped by Costco and picked up two new camping chairs for our over night getaway with the fam. 

They aren't just any old chairs... 

They are the epitome of a pregnant lady's dream chair. 

They recline. 

They have cup holders, and a built-in pillow that fits perfectly behind my neck. 

They're awesome I'm telling you.

And once our site was all set up on Saturday morning, the kids took off around the small loop on their bikes, the Cowboy poured me an ice cold lemonade, and we plopped ourselves down in these glorious chairs and for the next two hours we laughed so hard that I thought I might have this baby right there and then. 

Or maybe it would be more accurate to say that I laughed so hard that the Cowboy just might have been laughing at me laughing. 

{Man, how I've missed sandy little-gal-feet!}

{I think the Charmer might be having a slight identity crisis... No one gave him the memo that most folks don't wear cowboy boots to the beach... :)}

{And my Spunky Girl... She painted her own toenails. I love it!}

There's all kinds of seasons in a marriage. 

And I love the ones that bring God-sized joy between my Joey and I. 

We have many small children, and bills to pay, and just this past month there have been four broken windows here at the farmhouse. Our home is full and loud and there are meals to be made and messes to clean up all-day-long. There are hearts in need of constant training and siblings in need of encouraging words. And in the midst of it all the Lord has graciously given my man and I a great great joy. 

We've been together nearly 16 years. 

And on a weekend in late summer, I'm round and puffy, and sporting my glamorous maternity bathing suit, and my Cowboy still looks over at me like he did when we 18-years-old.

 

{The Cowboy and I when we were dating.}

Love... who knew it could be captured by deep-belly laughter and two really great camping chairs?

Yesterday's Mama Lesson

He had mentioned it to his Papa and I months ago. 

I was stoked that he wanted to do such a thing, but truth be told, I think I thought he just might have forgotten about it over time. Or maybe the even more brutal truth is that I was hoping he'd forget.

He kept bringing it up all summer long. He told us his plan... told us that he would teach on Mathew chapter five... told us that he wanted to take an offering for the poor... told us that he wanted to pray for the president and our country and for us all to learn to find our kindness. 

The one thing he really wanted to do this summer was have a church service for his friends out in the tree house. 

And what Mama wouldn't want their kid to ask to do such a thing?

I love this boy's heart. I love the way the Lord has made him. He's put leadership in him and given him a passion for Himself. 

And as his Mama I want nothing more than to foster those things in him as he grows up under this roof.

But when he asked me about doing church in the tree house, I found myself responding out of my own fears. 

You see, it's hard to say yes to your son when he wants to do the very things that have always terrified you. I really don't care to try new things. I couldn't fathom speaking in front of a bunch of folks. I have this crazy need to feel overly prepared when I am indeed forced to speak in front of others, like back in speech class or something.

And I worry. I worry for my son that he might mess up, or be standing up there with nothing to say. I worry that he'll panic and break down in front of everyone... worry that he'll get wrapped up in what these folks think of his little sermon.

But fortunately for all of us, my issues are not his issues, and I'm married to a man who can speak that truth into me, who can remind me that God can break down the old, yucky qualities in a Mama, and build up something new and God-sized in her son. My fears do not have to be his fears.

So I sent out an evite and nearly everyone RSVP'd yes, and I got a pit in my stomach. 

What was my boy going to say? 

He's only 8. But he's brave and he's bold and yesterday when we got home from our camping trip, the Cowboy and our son sat at the farm table and talked together through the scriptures, while I baked treats and made strawberry lemonade.

I should have been one blessed Mama, but instead I was giving myself a pep talk... trying to remind myself not turn into a control freak... trying to remind myself to be stoked on what was going on in my kitchen with my husband and my son and my Jesus. He's 8. The goal wan't a perfectly polished speech on the doctrines of Christianity. The gift was a young boy being brave enough to share his glorious Jesus with his friends.

And when everyone arrived my Siah was filled with joy and courage and he got up there on that tree house and with his friend Campbell and their Papa's by his side, he told the small crowd why he had wanted to do this church service. He read Mathew five and asked questions and shared his thoughts. He lead a worship song and his friend Campbell took an offering for the poor. 

They prayed over all that had been done and said, and my Siah was loud and clear and bold and brave, and I learned a great lesson in mothering last night... one that I have a feeling I'll have to learn many times over.

Jesus has got my son. He's growing him up in ways that I simply can't. He's training his heart and giving him all that he needs for life and godliness. (2 Peter 1:3) 

Our heart doesn't learn through perfection. It learns through a willingness to try. 

This morning my son came into the kitchen with that grin on his face that I love so very much and he told me straight up,

"Last night was AWESOME Mom! God totally made me brave and I did good." 

And isn't that just what the Lord is hoping to mold into each of us??? A confidence in all that HE CAN AND WILL do in and through us, if only we're willing to try? 

On this parenting journey I am definitely called to participate... but I am also blessed to know that the Lord has my children in ways beyond anything that I can even think or imagine to ask Him for. How He holds us all at the same time and pours such rich life into us, is beyond me. 

But last night as I sat on the grass hill and watched my son pour his heart out simply because of his innocent, pure love for his Jesus, I cried tears of great gratitude... not only for a really cool son, but for a God who reminds this broken Mama that He holds her heart just the same, with a tender love and compassion for all that she is unable to do in her own strength. I love that. :)

To Memorize His Face...

I want to mother like I've "memorized the face of my Father".

I want to mother like I truly know my Jesus more than anything else in this place... like I care about His love pouring out and drenching these kids more than I care about the dirt and the dishes, and all the broken little pieces of this farm house.

When I scour His Words in the early mornings and sometimes late into the night, I find all these words that describe Him, that describe the way that He loves, that describe the kind of Mama I want to be.

Compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, selfless, servant.

Patient, willing, forgiveness, just, perseverance, endurance, always hoping, never giving up.

I want to memorize this...

This way of loving that contradicts the world I live in.


{When we had only 1 treasure...}


I want my words to build them up, to lead them to Him, to give them courage to live boldly in this place for His sake and His glory.

I want my life to reflect that He is indeed worthy... worthy of it all.

Worthy of our time, our rights, our love, our surrender, our hope, our trust that He is indeed doing in us what He says He is doing in us.

I know the end of pregnancy is coming near.

I know because I now only have two pairs of underwear that actually fit.

I know because I'm not comfortable when I stand, I'm not comfortable when I sit, I'm not comfortable when I lie down, bend, or breath in to deep.


{When we had 2 treasures...}

I know it's the end because it's in these final weeks that I find myself dreaming about the gift that I know is coming. I can't stop thinking about the squishy little person that I get to hold in my arms... the little person that came from the covenant that the Cowboy and I made with one another nearly 13 years ago.

There's really no nice way of saying how it really is right now... I'm circular, and tight, a bit grouchy, and majorly weepy. And somehow in the midst of it, I'm just thrilled.

I'm thrilled for the journey, for the unknown, for the time that the Lord chooses to give me with this little one. Thrilled for the intricate ways that He's already molded all the details of this one's life. Thrilled for the day, when I hear this child ask Jesus into His heart, for the day when this child says "I love you Mommy," for the first time. Thrilled for the privilege of training up this child. Thrilled at the thought that this child just might be another "oak of righteousness for the display of His splendor."


{When we had 3...}

With each child, motherhood feels new. It feels like a new beginning, a place of hope, and another reason to memorize His face...

To know my Jesus more than anything. To soak in His extravagant love long enough, often enough, deeply enough, that I might emulate Him to the little ones around me.

The beginning of something glorious is just a few short weeks away.

And I pray that He would prepare my heart to love on this one in such a way, that he/she has no doubt that his/her Mama loves her Jesus more than anything. :)

Please Lord, may I spend my life memorizing your face. :)

{There's a different couch in the farmhouse now, and we're soaking up the last few weeks before we welcome our newest little treasure. :}

The Spunky One

She's still as spunky as ever, this little one.

She loves marshmallows & movies.

When it's cold outside, she's convinced that all anyone needs is a warm bath and a cup of hot cocoa. Truth be told, even when it's not cold out she's convinced that hot cocoa makes all things great! She's joy-filled, she's obedient, she's gentle, loving and kind.

And when I asked her if she'd like to go to the theater to see Monster's Inc. on her birthday, she literally jumped up and down and cheered. And then she started making plans...

"Before the movie starts, can we go to the Kum&Go (A gas station by our house) and get a slurp (aka "slurpee" to most)? 

Can we eat popcorn while we're there? 

And for dinner... Mom, you know that place with the picture of the bell on it??"

"Taco Bell??"

"Ya, Taco Bell. Can we go there and get a soft taco for dinner?"

Taco Bell? Really?

Man, this girl is easy to please.

So we went to the movies and Taco Bell and the Kum & Go. And she had a little sleepover with one of her dearest little friends, Viv.

They dressed up like princesses and ate candy to their hearts content.

 

This girl of mine radiates joy. She's the one who wears her heart on her sleeve. I LOVE that about her. There is never any doubt as to what she is thinking or feeling. She'll let you know if the meal you made is good, if your bum is bigger than it was last week, if she wants Lucky Charms for dinner, or if she finds the book you're reading her boring. She jumps up and down when she's excited. She weeps elephant tears when she's sad. 

She lives in the moment, and can't think past the now. I can only give this girl one instruction at a a time, and she does so much better accomplishing tasks with a companion than she does when she tries to go it alone.

She makes this farm house FUN. 

I truly can not believe that she is 5-years-old. 

Happy Happy Birthday Spunky One. 

Man, how I love you! :)

Happy 4th of July

We were all set to camp in Estes Park this 4th of July. But after the fires and camping for nearly a week then, this Mama was camped out. So we had a little shindig at the farm and it was a total blast!

We woke the treasures up that morning and put a few red ribbons in the girl's hair, and took them to our small town parade. We ate McDonalds in the back of  the pickup truck and real tear just might have slide down my check when I opened the bag and saw that they had forgotten my hash brown. (What? Now, I'm crying about hash browns? I think I'm a little DONE being pregnant and CRAZY. LOL. :)

Anywho, the parade was lovely. And at the end the fire fighters walked down the middle of the street in their full gear and every last person lining the streets stood up and clapped for five minutes straight. It was a moment of gratitude and pride that I'll hold onto for a long time. 

Back at the farm, the Cowboy and I are a stellar team and he got the outside ready and I got the farmhouse ready. A small bunch of sun flowers, some strawberry lemonade, a grill and a tractor... that's all that's needed to celebrate with friends all that's great about America. :)

Try wrangling 30 kiddos under the age of 10 and get them to play a few organized games???

The water balloon toss turned into a water balloon fight,

The three-legged race turned into a four-legged hop/run/skip/jump.

There was food to be had. 

New friends and old.

Hay Rides & Bike Rides.

Laughter.

Tire Swings.

Dogs & chairs, and dogs used as chairs...

Trampolines.

Rocking Chairs.

Football in the dirt.

The Charmer's very own "American" Pie... :)

And a lot of good memories made. 

Happy 4th of July from our little farm to yours!