Zephaniah 3:17

"The LORD your God is with you,
he is mighty to save.
He will take great delight in you,
he will quiet you with his love,
he will rejoice over you with singing."

Zephaniah 3:17 A few months ago i went to a "comfort party" that my friend Jeanelle had with some ladies from our church. They have a company that sells comfort products for newborns all the way up to adults... you can check it out here.
They are truy wonderful products :)


Anyways.. one of the verses that she shared was Zephaniah 3:17... and it stuck with me... and it keeps coming up in all sorts of places... and people keep randomly sending it to me as a source of encouragement...


So, Joey and I have been talking about our sweet baby and whether or not we should give him a name... ALL of our other kids have names and although we did not know this baby for very long, he is still in our hearts as if we have known him for years... So we have been thinking about what me might call him...


In our kitchen we have a white board above our table that we write verses on and then when we eat breakfast, lunch and dinner, we try to memorize the verses together while we eat. On the board this week is Zephaniah 3:17... I walked by it yesterday several times and then a simple little thought went through my mind... "That's it. That's his name."...


So I went outside to Joey's office and told him my thought about how that verse has been so prevalent in our lives over the past few months... it's almost as if the Lord gave it to us "for such a time as this."


It was quiet for a moment... we looked at each other... then each nodded our heads and mumbled a quiet, "yeah" under our breath.


And it was decided... His name is Zephaniah and God has used his little life to,
" quiet us with his love,"
&
" rejoice over us with singing."



Remember our jar full of sand... Well we were putting ornaments on the tree the other day and we came across this one... Joey pointed out that it was just like our jar... So we put it on top of our tree as this years tree topper... representing our memories with our precious Zephaniah.

They're Here!!!!

Every year my gracious friend Lauren takes these beautiful pictures of my treasures...

These were the ones from last year...


These are from two years ago...



And here are the ones from this year!!!!!!!!












Thank you Soooo Much my sweet friend... These photos are one of my favorite gifts every year!! You bless my socks off...

Christmas Is Coming...

We were able to spend the day together with our family...
We got up this morning and had breakfast together...
We headed out to the most magical place to pick out our Christmas tree...
The Home Depot down the street from our house :)...

There was this crazy long line to pay for the tree...

My sweet sister in law came down to bless me and help me out for a few days... She brought some of Eden's clothes that she had grown out of to give to Skyler... I liked the hat and the shoes... Sorry Skylee in the buff... I was feeling to lazy to walk up stairs to get her clothes...


I can't help but love this face...

Our Nativity

Our Charlie Brown christmas tree...

Santa Sits under our tree...

After we decorated the tree and the house, Joey made sugar cookies
with the kids. He used our cookie cutters and frosted them... And the kids put sprinkles on
"all by self"...

The final product...

Someone's excited about the cookies...

I got a few pictures of the kids!!

LOVE

My Three treasures...

Skylee, why are you so serious?

I sure do cherish these kiddos!!!!!!

I really love Christmas. We listened to Christmas music all day. We had friends stop in and pray over us and with us. My dad brought us some lunch and he decorated the tree with us... My amazing friend Heidi brought us dinner. We ended our day with Mindy and Jason. They came over and prayed over us... Then my tender friend Mindy had the sweetest idea... We sat on the floor in our living room and sang through our tears, "He's Got The Whole World In His Hands" It just might have been one of my favorite "life" moments ever. I will remember it always.
Thank you Lord for the birth of your son. I find it to be NO coincidence that all three of our children that have gone home to be with you, were born during this season. You knew when your son was born that you were going to endure the pain of loosing him. You know first hand what it is like to loose a child. Thank you for this Christmas season.

Letting Go...

I am so grateful that I had it on my heart to post yesterdays entry... To me it is a photo alblum of Clark baby number 6. A few hours after I posted about the joy of our little one I began to miscarry. It was a long, physically hard afternoon. I felt a series of emotions but oddly, I mainly just felt sadness and trust.

Trust that the Lord's plans are far above mine... Trust that with God's help our hearts are going to make it through another loss... Trust that God knows the plans he has for me and Joey... Trust that He DOES work ALL things for the GOOD of those who love him... Trust that in these moments in our lives that hurt sooooo bad, He DOES hold us close, in His mighty arms!!!!

A while back, the grass in our back yard started dying... For the past few months it has been officially dead. While we were in Texas it miraculously started growing again. Last night Joey pointed out the grass to me... He said that he felt like the grass in our backyard was a representation of all that the Lord is doing in our lives right now... He's growing us... Growth is usually not very easy... In order to get the grass to grow you have to almost "drown" it in water... drowning is not fun... But in this case, the excess water is what provides "life" for the grass...

Our Miracle grass...

It is often the difficult times that give us true life... It is in our weakness that the Lord is made strong... It is the trials that produce perseverance... It is loss that gives reason to trust...

So here we are again, learning to let go of the things that we hold so dear to our hearts...

Joey told me yesterday when I was n the floor crying about our baby, "Kac, the Lord will never give us more than we can handle, so he must think that you are strong enough to handle this."
I'm not sure that that's true, but I am sure that HE is strong enough to carry me through, no matter how painful the journey might be...

Today we are going to fill up a jar with sand... each grain of sand being a representation of the hundreds of memories that we already have with this baby, even though our time was short. We are going to put the jar next to the box that we have for Samuel and Barnabas that we keep on the bench in our bedroom... and when we go to bed at night we will be reminded to thank the Lord for all SIX of our children and how He has used each one of their lives to draw us closer to Him.

Dreams Really Do Come True...

Right after Skyler was born Joey and I began to ask the Lord to bring another baby quick. We love how close Josiah and Halee are and how Skyler is not far behind. We prayed very specifically that it would be a year or less difference. And once again the Lord has been soooo faithful!!! We found out about four weeks ago that we are having baby #6!!!!! AS I am writing this the kids are dancing around the room, Cold Play is playing in the back ground, Skyler is laughing at her brother and sister as they run around in circles and Joey is laying next to Skyler with the hugest smile on his face! How blessed are we?

I am a little hesitant to put this post up at this point in my pregnancy but the truth is that I am so in love with my babies the moment I know that they are in my womb. And if they are there for a few weeks or till full term, I want them to know how much I cherish them, pray for them, love on them, talk to them, brag about them... I hope that by sharing with all of you, the testimony of whatever the Lord does with their life will be powerful and it will bring a tremendous amount of glory to the King of Kings!!!!

With that said, we went to the doctor yesterday...
I woke up bleeding...
I called Dr. Rob and he saw me right away.
He did an ultrasound and right when he found the baby, He said, "do you see that?" And as I looked at the screen tears of relief and praise streamed down my face... I saw the heart beating super fast... Then Dr. Rob turned on the sound so that I could hear the heart beat! I thnk that might be one of my favorite sounds in the whole world (right up there with the sound of my children laughing)
There is another little Clark on the way. And we are cherishing every second with this little one...

We invite you to join us in prayer for Clark baby # 6... No matter what God has for us we have no doubt it will be good. He is gracious and faithful.

Signing out with joy, :)

Precious baby # 6
Due July 18, 2009
(Skyler's due date was July 14th 2008 :)

Our family tree...

I had a large piece of wood that I wanted to use to make a giant family tree for the kids... The only thing is I really don't know how to draw a big beautiful tree!!!

So my sweet friend Paige came over and painted the most beautiful tree...

I hope over the next few months to collect pictures of all our family members so that I can paste them on the tree... and continue to add pictures as our family grows :)

She even "carved" our name in the tree trunk...
Thank you soo much my precious Paige... I am truly blessed by your talents!!!! Love ya friend!!!

Lord, Thank you For Bringing The Rain...

A few weeks ago a friend posted a great prayer idea on her blog that she found from another blog called "Bring The Rain"... (I put the link on my side bar to both the prayer idea and the blog) I went to the blog excited about the prayer idea of how I could pray for my kids seven times a day, seven days a week... It turned out that the blog was about a woman who had found out at her twenty week appointment that her baby wasn't going to make it... but she carried the baby until full term. She had started the blog within a few days of her ultra sound and she shared her journey as it unfolded...

So, I had this brilliant idea that I would read through her story... I had no idea what the Lord had for me as I began to read each post... I started in the early evening after I put the kids to bed and before I knew it each post made me curious about the next post and the next post... hours past, tears came... I found myself hesitantly telling the Lord that he was welcome to come into any part of my heart that may need refining... I began to think about all the memories that I had with our boys, Samuel and Barnabas... (On the 22nd of this month they would have been five years old, I can't believe how time has past)...

He took me through a little journey that night that I know will last forever in my heart... It began with memories of thankfulness... I found my self thanking the Lord out loud for the time that we did have with our boys...

Thankful for the moment that we found out that we were having twins... The ride home from the ultrasound, we called every person we could possibly think of and told them the news... We had such pride, Thankful for the times that Joey and I would sit in bed at night and talk to them about silly things... Joey would tell them jokes and I would laugh my pregnant belly laugh and tell them how funny their Papa was... Thankful for all the times that they jumped for joy in my tummy... thankful that Joey was able to feel them soo many times... Thankful for the way that even though their life was short, they were used in such mighty ways to bring glory to the King of Kings..

As I read on in the blog, my heart turned from thankfulness to deep, deep sadness... The Lord took me to places in my heart that I just haven't allowed myself to go in a really long time... I don't think it was because I was trying to avoid going to those places but I simply didn't even know that those things were there in my heart to even think about...

Truth be told... I miss them... I miss Samuel and Barnabas so much it physically hurts...

What I wouldn't give to kiss them so much that they belly laugh... What I wouldn't give to know what their laugh sounds like... Or what their skin feels like against mine as I wrap my arms around them and hold them as tight as I possibly can...

There is part of me that sometimes tries to convince my heart to move on, move past the loss of my boys... sometimes I have the same thoughts about the loss of my mother... (I know it's not the right way to think I am just being completely honest and vulnerable here). But that night as I read through the blog, I felt soo free to feel everything and anything that I wanted to feel as I wept in my Heavenly Father's arms! So in that moment of freedom that's what I did... I wept and I wept and I wept. And it was a sweet place to be. Maybe one of the sweetest that I have ever been to. I fell asleep in that place that night... and I slept so hard and so good.

***

The next day Joey and I went on a date and I shared some of the things that I had read with him. He reminded me that the the things that we had gone through at that time, the decisions that we had made, the unity that the Lord has given us, was the plan that he had for us. He has a different story written for each person, for each couple... none are the same and the blessing is that we can rest in that truth. I was grateful for that reminder...

And as Joey and I walked along the beach that afternoon... something happened... for the billionth time I thought about the pictures that the nurse at the hospital took the day our boys were born. They put the pictures in my file and told me that the records office would hold them for five years... This is year number 5...

I asked joey if he thought it was a coincidence that the Lord was bringing up all this stuff in my heart at this very time. And we both came to the conclusion that we need to take a bold step and call the records office...

***

So last Monday, I prayed all morning... I prayed that whoever was at the records office that day, whoever was going to talk to me, I prayed that they would be kind, that they would be gentle. I prayed that they would somehow know to be sensitive to our situation... It is a situation so dear to my heart I couldn't bear for someone to be short or rude...
It took me ALL morning to muster up the courage...
Finally, I called.
I told the lady my situation and before I knew it we were both in tears!
She spent nearly 20 minutes on the phone with me, walking me through each step. She told me that once I got my paper work in they would call me and let me know when I could come pick up my pictures. The Lord once again was sooooo faithful in giving me this lady.

***

It took me a few days but Thursday I mustered up the courage to fax the papers to the records office... I went over to my friend Milly's house and she let me use her printer and her fax machine... It was a big step for me... One that I needed Jesus size strength for... And as always, the Lord was gracious in giving me just what I needed.

***
When the pictures are in our hands we know that the Lord will give us what we need to unseal the envelope... One step at a time...
Until then...
" I know there will be days
when this life brings me pain,
But if that's what it takes to praise you Jesus,
Bring The Rain."

Stay tuned... i know the Lord has a lot in store for the Clark house this Christmas season.
Blessing upon blessing...