I am so grateful that I had it on my heart to post yesterdays entry... To me it is a photo alblum of Clark baby number 6. A few hours after I posted about the joy of our little one I began to miscarry. It was a long, physically hard afternoon. I felt a series of emotions but oddly, I mainly just felt sadness and trust.
Trust that the Lord's plans are far above mine... Trust that with God's help our hearts are going to make it through another loss... Trust that God knows the plans he has for me and Joey... Trust that He DOES work ALL things for the GOOD of those who love him... Trust that in these moments in our lives that hurt sooooo bad, He DOES hold us close, in His mighty arms!!!!
A while back, the grass in our back yard started dying... For the past few months it has been officially dead. While we were in Texas it miraculously started growing again. Last night Joey pointed out the grass to me... He said that he felt like the grass in our backyard was a representation of all that the Lord is doing in our lives right now... He's growing us... Growth is usually not very easy... In order to get the grass to grow you have to almost "drown" it in water... drowning is not fun... But in this case, the excess water is what provides "life" for the grass...
Our Miracle grass...
It is often the difficult times that give us true life... It is in our weakness that the Lord is made strong... It is the trials that produce perseverance... It is loss that gives reason to trust...
So here we are again, learning to let go of the things that we hold so dear to our hearts...
Joey told me yesterday when I was n the floor crying about our baby, "Kac, the Lord will never give us more than we can handle, so he must think that you are strong enough to handle this."
I'm not sure that that's true, but I am sure that HE is strong enough to carry me through, no matter how painful the journey might be...
Today we are going to fill up a jar with sand... each grain of sand being a representation of the hundreds of memories that we already have with this baby, even though our time was short. We are going to put the jar next to the box that we have for Samuel and Barnabas that we keep on the bench in our bedroom... and when we go to bed at night we will be reminded to thank the Lord for all SIX of our children and how He has used each one of their lives to draw us closer to Him.
Trust that the Lord's plans are far above mine... Trust that with God's help our hearts are going to make it through another loss... Trust that God knows the plans he has for me and Joey... Trust that He DOES work ALL things for the GOOD of those who love him... Trust that in these moments in our lives that hurt sooooo bad, He DOES hold us close, in His mighty arms!!!!
A while back, the grass in our back yard started dying... For the past few months it has been officially dead. While we were in Texas it miraculously started growing again. Last night Joey pointed out the grass to me... He said that he felt like the grass in our backyard was a representation of all that the Lord is doing in our lives right now... He's growing us... Growth is usually not very easy... In order to get the grass to grow you have to almost "drown" it in water... drowning is not fun... But in this case, the excess water is what provides "life" for the grass...
Our Miracle grass... It is often the difficult times that give us true life... It is in our weakness that the Lord is made strong... It is the trials that produce perseverance... It is loss that gives reason to trust...
So here we are again, learning to let go of the things that we hold so dear to our hearts...
Joey told me yesterday when I was n the floor crying about our baby, "Kac, the Lord will never give us more than we can handle, so he must think that you are strong enough to handle this."
I'm not sure that that's true, but I am sure that HE is strong enough to carry me through, no matter how painful the journey might be...
Today we are going to fill up a jar with sand... each grain of sand being a representation of the hundreds of memories that we already have with this baby, even though our time was short. We are going to put the jar next to the box that we have for Samuel and Barnabas that we keep on the bench in our bedroom... and when we go to bed at night we will be reminded to thank the Lord for all SIX of our children and how He has used each one of their lives to draw us closer to Him.
