One Seriously Cool Kid

At the farm house birthdays are a big deal. 

It's not about any extravagant gifts, or gigantic parties, but as our treasures grow, the Cowboy and I want all of them to know that not a day goes by that we don't have tremendous gratitude in our hearts for their little lives.  Our treasures are precious gems, answers to prayer, tools that the Lord has given their Papa and I to help us grow up towards our Jesus. 

They are worth much celebration and every April and July the Cowboy and I can't wait to lavish intentional joy on all four of the amazing kids that live under this roof with us.

So what can I say about my Siah?? 

He just might be one of the coolest kids I know. 

He's not your typical 8 year old. He wears a cowboy hat everyday of his life, likes to work, follows all the rules & loves to be outside. He is the other half of my brain on most days, helping me remember everything I need when we leave the house. He's crazy responsible, knowing what he has to get done for school each day and doing most all of it on his own without my having to even remind. He's likes playing by himself just as much as with his siblings. He loves shooting guns and his bow and arrow, hiding out in the tree house, jumping on the trampoline, shoveling snow off the drive way, and chopping trees in the mini forest here on the farm. He has an endless amount of questions and I will admit that Siah and the Cowboy are like two peas in a pod in that department. They think alike and care about the same kind of stuff, and I love that about both of them. 

The day before his actual birthday, we had the privilege of surprising Siah with a camo-room and a surprise party with his three closest friends and their families. His friend Cam's birthday is just a few days before Siah's so we got to love on both of these amazing boys. We ate pizza and rode the tractor. Upon request, I made a giant chocolate chip cookie cake and homemade ice cream sandwiches... Oh, and this pregnant Mama just might of had two of those ice cream sandwiches. {smile!}

Since we moved out to the sticks a few years back , the Lord has provided some incredible friendships for our family. We met the Weavers through the kid's class day and their three oldest kids are the same ages as our three oldest. Their 5-year-old son Becket picked out Siah's gift all by himself... a Duck Dynasty poster and a bag of bloody fish bate... Come on now, that's hilarious and perfectly awesome! :) I loved it!

SURPRISE!!!

.

Siah's new Camo Room...

Siah and one of his best buddies, Cam...

Group hug.... :)

The Cowboy built this bed  for his boys....

The next morning was Siah's actual birthday and we had our usual birthday breakfast with our family and opened presents. Thanks to all the grandparents for blessing our Siah! He felt super loved! :)

It was a gorgeous sunny day and Si just wanted to hang out in his new camo room... fine by me... this Mama put on her extremely stylish maternity bathing suit and got a sun tan while reading a book in the yard. :) then I took a snooze on the couch. I couldn't really sleep cuz I kept hearing all four kids belly laughing up stairs. So I guess I spent the afternoon sleep-smiling... there's nothing better to waking up to the sound of treasures laughing all happy. :)

Then that night was one that I hope never to forget. 

My Siah, my Hal, my Dad, and I ALL got baptized together. I'm not even sure what to say...

There were 17 of us getting baptized.

My friend Heather who lost her husband this year in Afghanistan was there to baptize her son. To say that the Lord has lavished His strength on this woman... As I stood behind the baptism pool with my Joey and my Dad and my treasures waiting for our turn, I wept. 

I don't feel sorry for my friend, I admire her. 

I admire the way that the Lord consumes her. I admire the way that she moves forward each day into Him, knowing that He has been and always will be enough. 

And as she stood up there with her son, without her husband, I felt this intense love and pride for my friend. And even though I felt blessed beyond measure to have my Joey, my dad, and my kids with me as I got baptized yesterday, what I felt more than anything was a tremendous gratitude towards my Jesus for what He's willing to do in and through all of our lives. 

My Heather, He's made her brave, and He's constantly molding her into a woman who daily displays His splendor. And isn't that the GREATEST privilege?

Family and friends are an amazing gift, but Jesus Himself is the ultimate gift. 

It's not Joey who completes me, it's Christ. 

It's not Joey who sustains me, provides for me, or carries my heart the way it needs to be carried... It's my Jesus that does all the gentle heart work that needs doing in my life, all that my precious friend's heart needs. We can, and should come alongside each other, always, as we walk through this life. 

But I don't want to forget that Jesus is the one worthy of all my worship. 

It was a moment between my man and my dad that I will cherish in my heart for always. God is growing both of these men in mighty ways and I feel so privileged to walk alongside. :)

What better way to CELEBRATE than to watch your son & daughter & dad & self die to sin, and come up ALIVE in Christ! We are a bunch of sinful treasures living under this roof. But God is doing a mighty work in us all. He who has began a good work in us, IS faithful to complete it. 

I am so so thankful. 

Happy Happy Birthday to my Siah. That we have the privilege of walking through this life with you... I am bubbling over with gratitude! I love you little man, with all my heart! :)

Just Random Stuff

I'm not even sure where to start these days. So much happening at the farm house is glorious and good, and yet, at the very same moment, there is so much that stings and humbles.

We could start with this morning... I had this brilliant idea to potty train the little Charmer. After spending three hours in or near the bathroom, with 15 accidents and not a single success, we put his diaper back on and sat down together in the living room and ate the entire bowl of candy that I had filled earlier this morning in hopes of inspiring that Charmer to pee in the potty.  Oh yes we did. :) 

What I wanna know is why I care so much about the fact that I failed to get my son to pee in a porcelan bowl this morning? So what if it takes him more time? So what if he's nothing at all like the others under this roof? So what, is what I should be saying. But instead I'm standing in a puddle of pee in the kitchen and I'm getting all worked up at the fact that I simply cannot make this little one do what I want him to do, when I want him to do it. (And I can just hear all you more experienced Mama's chuckling at me, and maybe wondering when this Mama just might come to truly understand that control goes out the window when one becomes a Mama?  Maybe someday I'll get it? :)

I'm Humbled.

And also refreshed. 

Refreshed that I don't have to control him... that that's not my even part of my job as Mama. I simply have to guide and  instruct, consistently and with much love. 

So, we'll try again in a little while. And we'll have faith that he won't be 18 and unable to go potty in the big boy potty. :)

Here he is, soo happy to be back in his diaper and cowboy boots...

Is he not the whitest kid you've ever seen?? Where are his Mama's Mexican genes?? :)

In other news, our friends across the farm moved to town this past weekend. I've known for awhile that it was coming, that the change was inevitable. But it's almost surreal that they are no longer a stone's throw away. And as much as there are moments when the thought of such change stings so deep, I feel so grateful that we are all in the palm of His mighty hand and that all the details that have come together in the past six months have been anything but coincidence. 

So who moved in across the farm??

My precious Dad. :) 

We've had the blessing of him living with us the past six months and now that's another thing that's been tugging on my heart strings as of late. He's my Dad, and he's a grown man, more than capable of doing his thing and taking care of himself... But I have so enjoyed his time in our home. I've been so thankful for his help and his friendship, his conversation, and simply the gift of doing life together. And even though he's only a few hundred feet away, yesterday was a bit emotional for me when he came over to say good night and left for his own place. Granted, I am so pregnant and everything just might make me cry... but even so. :) Sure do love my Dad. :)

And in the midst of all the change and pee on the floor, my Cowboy has been slowly turning our farm house into a farm Home. With his own hands he's been changing things out and fixing things up. Here's a little sneak peek at the farm house kitchen...

Before...

After...

Before...

After...

Yesterday I got to spend the afternoon with the Spunky Girl. The Cowboy and the older kids went hiking to celebrate one amazing little boy's birthday (Happy bday Cam!!), and the Charmer took a long afternoon nap... So that Spunky little gal and I did some yard work together and found Spring's first batch of kittens in the stable across from the farm house. There were four this time but one died right away. The three that are left are cute as can be and they will be in a nice card board box out front of Walmart with a lovely sign that reads, FREE KITTENS, in about 8 short weeks if we don't find any takers sooner. :) I get a little anxiety at the thought of becoming the crazy cat lady. LOL. But for now, we are soaking them up and I love that Spring really does bring about new life in this place. :)

I think all our hard work tuckered her out... :)

Yesterday was glorious, and today the snow is back. It's Spring and it's snowing...AGAIN. 

I'm tempted to be grouchy. But my sweet Dancing Girl has convinced me to drink some hot chocolate and play some good old Connect Four with her in front of the fire instead. :) Love these treasures and am so thankful that they remind me to accept all that He gives with great JOY. :)

Cross Out The 'I'...

Who may ascend the hill of the Lord?
Who may stand in His holy place?
He who has clean hands and a pure heart,
Who does not lift his soul to an idol
Or swear by what is false.
Psalm 24

How will I ever stand next to a holy God when I am constantly lifting my soul to the idol of self?

I want to be near Him. I want to be Like him.

I've asked Him to make my sin as heinous in my own sight as it is in His sight.

I'm a floundering Mama who wants to be cleansed from my sin and be used as instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the  Master and prepared to do any good work. (2 Timothy 2:21)

I read this story and I've been replacing her name with mine, as it has all become a deeply intimate prayer these past days here on the farm...

"Suddenly I knew that I had to get away from it all and sort myself out and seek God's forgiveness and restoration, if I was to continue in the work (of motherhood).

The pastor had seen my spiritual need and made all the arrangements for me to go and stay in his village for a long weekend. I felt crushed by my own oft-repeated failures, I knew I was quite unworthy of the title '(Mama)' and I yearned to know the secret of a closer walk with God and of a new in-filling by the Holy Spirit. On the Sunday evening, I went to the pastor and his wife , as they sat together in the palaver hut by the embers of the fire, and asked him to help me. I did not have to explain what I meant; he knew.

Opening his Bible to Galatians 2:20, he drew a straight line in the dirt floor with his heel. 'I,' he said, 'the capital 'I' in our lives, Self, is the great enemy.'

Stillness reigned.

'{Kacy},' he said quietly after a long pause, 'the trouble with you is that we can see so much {Kacy} that we cannot see Jesus.'

Again he paused, and my eyes filled with tears.

'I notice that you drink much tea,' he continued presently, apparently going off on a tangent. "When they bring a mug of hot teat to you, wherever you are, whatever you're doing, you stand there holding it, until it is cool enough to drink. May I suggest that every time, as you stand and wait, you should just life your heart to God and pray...' and as he spoke he moved his heal in the dirt across the I he had previously drawn, 'Please God, cross out the I.'

It was very still.

There in the dirt was this simplified theology _the Cross_ the crossed-out I life.

Crucifiction _ death to self_ the cross in the life of a Christian, or as Paul worded it, "I have been crucified with Christ and it is no longer I who live, but Christ lives in me.' Galatians 2:20

And so I go back to that same old verse again...

If a man cleanses himself from {all the grittiness of his sin}, he will be an instrument for noble purposes, made holy, useful to the Master, and prepared to do any good work. (2 Timothy 2:21)

Please God, cross out the 'I' in my life and make me an instrument for noble purposes?

More of you and less of me?

Daily, hourly, I want to be made holy, set apart for your glory. :)

My Hal

A sweet little Hal's birthday came and went last week.

She wanted her Mama to bring a Tinker Bell cake that she had seen countless times at the local Walmart to her class day, which happened to fall on her actual birthday this year.

She wanted to spend the day with her family. 

No party. 

Just a family trip to the American Girl Doll store up in Denver, then dinner and her very own ice cream sundae at The Cheesecake Factory with her Mama and Papa, brothers and sister, and her Gramps. :)

It felt strange when she said she didn't want a party this year. I absolutely LOVE celebrating birthdays because birthdays are the days that remind me each year how the Lord graciously gave me some of the absolute deepest desires that my heart has ever had and He blessed me with little souls to raise up for His glory.

Birthdays aren't just another year gone by. They're a tangible touch from above on this Mama who feels so privileged to be a Mama.

My Hal, well she was the one that wasn't "planned" as they say, but all the plans we've ever thought we've made, were already made for us before even time began anyways, right? And when we find ourselves falling into His plans, we find ourselves BLESSED! My Hal, she started growing six weeks after her big brother was born and we got to hold her in our arms 11 short months after her big brother was born.

She's got this tender heart, much like her Mama's. Sensitive with a soft voice. She's always willing to please. She's a nurturer, naturally caring for all her dolls from the moment she wakes up until the moment she goes to bed. 

She's so much like me I sometimes struggle to understand her... maybe because I don't always understand myself? I have a love/hate relationship with how easily she gets her feelings hurt. I'm the same way... a sharp tone can crush me in a heart beat. Maybe she's a mirror that daily forces me to face not only my strengths, but my weaknesses... and when I'm looking right in the eye of my weaknesses, I often find myself flustered and sometimes even angry. Not angry at my Hal, but at myself and the ways that I fall short. 

Kids can do that you know... make you brutally aware of ALL that you are, the good and the yucky.

My Hal, she has this spunky nature about her. It really only comes out when she's in the safest of places. She's goofy and funny and silly. And I love those moments when she lets it all out in silly-talk at the farm table, because when she's a heap of giggles I know that our home has become a safe-haven for her heart over the years. This little farm house, with these folks, she's her realest self and that blesses this Mama so very much. :)

It's always hard to believe that another year has already gone by.

It's hard to believe that she's seven, that her chubby-toddler-hand days are gone, never to return. 

It's a gift to know that each day is another opportunity to discover more of who the Lord has fashioned my little Hal to be. 

She's rather amazingly beautiful, inside and out. 

She's more than I could have known to ask for in a daughter. She tender and kind and abounding in grace and I am so in love with the fact that she is mine for this season of our lives. 

Happy Happy birthday sweet girl! 

You are lovely and you are loved. :)