On Favorite Things

The Cowboy and I piled the crew into the car this morning and headed out to Big R for some chicken feed.

He had on his ripped plaid shirt, his cowboy boots, and his cowboy hat. 

When the Cowboy's in the car, there's always something good and Country coming through the speakers. 

Today when he reached across the center console and rested his grease-stained man-hands on my bare leg, this was playing, and we were smiling. 

These are some of my favorite things. The days when the music's good, and his touch is close, and we can see our four amazing little treasures real, and loud, in our rear view mirror. 

We left Big R, and picked out tomatoes and peppers and a handful of other things at Home Depot, then headed back to the Farm. 

It was gorgeous here today. Everything within me is smiling at these warm days of summer. 

I LOVE them! 

I love these flowers.

I love the garden that's growing our lettuce and cauliflower, carrots and peppers, tomatoes and squash. 

I love that the Dancing Girl discovered today that she can totally ride her brother's big bike. I love that smile that took over her face as she pedaled around the farm. I love how she ran up to me and told me all giddy, "Mom, GUESS-WHAT??? I can totally ride Siah's bike all by myself!" 

I love the way the sun shines right through the Charmer's white wisps.

And I love working outside, next to the Cowboy, with the ipod set on all things things Country, causing the flowers to sing.

I love the days when the Cowboy and I hardly say a word all day, but he winks my way, and he slides his fingers down my arm as he walks past me in the kitchen, and through the seemingly insignificant, I feel so loved.

Cheezy?

Maybe.

But days together with the Cowboy just might happen to be one of my favorite things. :)

When We're Willing To Try

The Dancing Girl and I have been working on some heart things around here. 

She's got to be one of the tenderest, sweet-as-a-peach-in-summer, hearts I know. The girl breaths kindness. The Lord has blessed her with a heart that loves to serve. He's filled her mouth with words of encouragement towards others. 

But when we were all invited to play a little game of putt- putt in celebration of our treasure friend AJ's 5th birthday, I knew that without a little prep, we were about to walk right into a puddle of gigantic tears falling right out of the dancing girls tender little heart.

She's the child who likes to do all things perfectly. She's the child that gets destroyed inside when she's doesn't succeed the very first time she tries something. She's the child that hasn't yet learned that she can't win every game. If she's not winning, she's crying. And it has taken this Mama years to see these crying sagas for what they often times really are, feelings of inadequacy and defeat.

With the Dancing Girl, learning new things needs to include a preparatory conversation on the basics of perseverance and choosing joy.

So in the car before we were able to jump into the joy of celebrating our precious friend, I reminded the Dancing Girl that we were about to play a game that she had never played before. I reminded her that she did not have to be perfect at the game, she simply had to try her best... with joy... without tears. I reminded her that when all hope seemed lost and that little ball simply would not go into that little hole, she would have to purpose to persevere. 

She knows that word well, we use it often in our home.

/per-se-vere/ - 

{The Clark family definition} 

= try, try again, no matter how hard it may seem, don't quit!

We're not but ten minutes into the game and she's on the fifth hole and she's hit that ball at the very least a dozen times... it finally goes in and she picks up her ball. She looks my way but avoids eye contact. She's biting her lower lip and blinking her eyes in rapid speed. 

She's on the verge of tears but trying with all her might to keep it all together.

I can't decide if I should pull her aside and flood her with a little encouragement or if I should just let her walk on and tough it out. 

I choose option # 1 and the moment her eyes meet mine she can't hold it in any longer and the flood gates open and she's a puddle in my arms. 

I look straight into her and tell her that yes she CAN do this. I remind her tender heart that she's never even once played this game in her life. I ask her if God asks us to be be perfect or if he simply asks us to persevere? 

She knows the answer, and she chokes it out.

"PERSEVERE." 

I smile.

And then the most amazing thing happens...

She SMILES TOO.

"Alright Mom, I'm going to keep on trying."

She stops crying and she moves onto the next hole.

It was AWESOME!!

She kept trying.

She got better.

And on hole 17, she even got a HOLE IN ONE! 

WAY TO GO HAL! 

Then when we were getting in the car, she was laughing all happy and she tells me from the back seat, 

"Mom. That was so much fun can we come back and do it again on my birthday?"

Man, when we're willing to try...

All that can happen when we're simply willing to try!

I've been struggling with our CRAZY dog. 

Truthfully, I've listed him on craigslist at least a half dozen times since the Cowboy brought him home back in March. 

Most simply, he's a puppy. 

And puppies, well, they're CRAZY. 

They jump and they bark, and they drive a Mama who could care less about dogs, CRAZY.

Even when I listed the lovely thing on craigslist for FREE, no one wanted him. 

It has become clear to me over the past days and weeks that the Lord just might have a plan for Chief and me. And maybe that plan needs to start with a willingness in my own heart to simply try. 

Maybe the Dancing Girl is not the only one in the farmhouse who needs to practice a little perseverance. 

Don't tell the Cowboy, (cuz secretly I'm hoping that I'll wake up on my birthday in a few weeks and the Cowboy will kiss my lips and tell me oh so sweetly that he's given our dear Chief to some lovely family in Iowa (or some other far away land)), but I think after miniature golfing with my Hal, that I've gotten a new zeal to at least take the poor dog off craigslist and TRY a little harder, a little longer, to get along with this peppy, four-legged thing. :)

All the ways that we might grow up towards Him,

When we're simply willing to try...

A Growing Boy And Family Love

On his way out the door tonight I smiled at the thought of what a great Papa he's going to be someday.

We were waiting on the porch for one of his friends to pick him up. TOgether with the friend's dad they would be off to the mountains to hunt and fish.

WE sat side by side on the porch steps.

"Oh ya, Mom?"

"Ya buddy."

"Don't forget to feed the chickens tomorrow while I'm gone."

"Got it. Thanks." I wink his way.

"And don't forget to take the dog out in the morning and feed him. It's best if you take him out before you eat breakfast so that you don't forget after you eat breakfast. Don't worry about the cats, I'll just feed them before I go to bed tomorrow night."

"Okay bud. Thanks for the reminder," I say it out loud and chuckle inside.

What is it about firstborns? My Siah, it seems he was born thinking he was already big.

Yesterday he finished first grade, and tonight he packed his own Batman backpack with all the warm clothes he could find and even remembered to slip his toothbrush into the side pocket..

He's getting so big, growing so fast.

When his friend's dad asked me if he could go hunting, my Siah was there, and he assured me that he was going to bless his friend, choose kindness, and obey Mr. Matt without any arguments or complaints.

All these character traits we're trying to foster around here.

It's this seemingly never-ending lesson.

Choosing kindness, practicing self-control over our emotions, over our actions.

I wonder if there has been any family throughout history who has really figured it all out? Figured out what real family-love looks like?

Surely real family love isn't without mistakes?

Surely real family love takes time? Maybe even a life-time?

Surely real family love has it's own fair-share of pain and heart-ache?

Don't even the best families struggle through some days? Maybe even most days?

He never said all this crazy-beautiful-messy life would be easy.

He simply said He would be here with me. He said that He, alone, would always be enough for this little heart of mine.

He said to keep my eye on the One and only treasure worth giving up my whole life for...

"The man who has God for his treasure has all things in One. Many ordinary treasures may be denied him, or if he is allowed to have them, the enjoyment of them will be so tempered that they will never be tempered to his happiness. Or if he must see them go, one after one, he will scarcely feel a sense of loss, for having the Source of all things he has in One all satisfaction, all pleasure, all delight. Whatever he may lose, he has actually lost nothing, for he now has it all in One, and he has it purely, legitimately and forever." Tozer, In The Pursuit of God.

 In whatever is going right or wrong under this farmhouse roof, we have everything we need in Him.

We have a place to hide if only for a moment long enough to catch our breath. We have a place to begin again, a place to live fully alive in unfailing hope.

And we have it all, PURELY, LEGITIMATELY, and FOREVER.

My Siah and I, we've walked together through first grade. We've grown up this year, him and I, in the way that we're learning to love each other with the never-ending help of the one who calls Himself LOVE.

Lord, you know how human I can be, you know how what my heart knows to be best is not always the thing that comes out of my mouth. You know the very specific places where I stumble, you know the places where I fall flat on my face.

Lord, please don't let me stay there.

Help me to bring you the most glory by being a woman who lives fully alive.

My Siah came home tonight and wrapped his arms around his Mama.

He's getting big, but he's still my little guy.

We choose love around here, despite mistakes.

I love that. I'm grateful for that. I bathe my messy heart in that. :)

Kindergarten Is Over

Yesterday was the Dancing girl's last day of Kindergarten.

I didn't cry.

It's a miracle really, cuz I cry about almost everything. :)

Instead, I felt mostly proud. My Hal thrived in her class this year. She has a natural bent towards learning and I loved watching her succeed.

She and My Siah both had Mrs. Kozyra for Kindergarten. She really loved on Hal this year and reminded me often to be encouraging with my words, and patient with my Hal as we learned to read together. She was good to always lead me back to Hal's strengths and to never let me rest to long on her weaknesses. 

Each class also has a tutor and this year Hal was blessed to have Ms. Davenport. She has the gift of kindness and she always went out of her way to love on our Hal.

I am so grateful for the program that they get to be a part of. It allows our treasures to interact with other kids their age, and gives them an opportunity to learn to submit to another authority outside our home. They do all their language arts there (spelling, writing, grammar) and they get to take a few fun classes as well like art, Spanish, music and PE.

I'm just thankful.... Thankful that the Lord provided something that has not only blessed our kids, but this Mama as well.... A place that encourages me as I learn to home school these treasures of mine. 

Yesterday, they had an end of the year party with a little slide show of their year, and the little kids and I had the blessing of being there.

The dancing girl, although as feminine as can be, has for some reason, always had friends that are boys, friends that are older, or younger (The Spunky Girl has always been her bestest friend and I hope with all my heart that it stays that way for a lifetime), but rarely ever has she had girl friends her own age. The Cowboy and I have been praying that the Lord would bring one or two truly quality friends and this year, He has been so faithful to do so. 

I can hardly believe that she's already done with Kindergarten. Like most of this life, time just goes on and doesn't always bother to slow down just for me. :)

I'm proud of you sweet Hal. You are truly a treasure and I love you with my whole heart.

Zion

It was so beyond what I expected. 

When we pulled in at sunset, I spoke it out loud to the whole car,

THE HEAVENS DECLARE THE GLORY OF GOD!

The mile high walls of solid red sand took my breath away. With my face smashed up against the car window, my eyes looked straight up into some of His most amazing creation. 

We had the gift of spending a week away in Zion National park with some truly lovely friends.

Yes, packing for six was a wee bit crazy.

Yes, tent camping with a soon-to-be 2 year old was  some what risky.

Yes, the drive was long.

But it was all beyond worth it. 

And to tell you the truth, our kids were flat out amazing. They entertained themselves for hours in the dirt. They rode bikes and chased frogs, and scooped up fish eggs from the river. They hiked and swam and took a shower under the spicket right there on the side of a dirt road. 

WE spent our afternoons, taking naps under a giant tree (cuz it was WAY to hot to take any sort of rest in our tent), and walking down to the river with all the treasures in tote. The Mama's would plop their chairs down right there in the river and watch the kids come up with their own projects for the afternoon... projects like building a series of rivers for the ants... you know, that sort of thing. :)

When I asked Reesie what her favorite part of the trip was, she jumped up, flung her hands in the air and shouted, "Apple Jacks!" 

You gotta love the simple things in life, eh?

We hadn't seen the family that we camped with in over and year, and honestly we just picked up where we had left off. It's one of those friendships where no matter how much time passes our friendship is still the same. These kind of friends are pure gift. 

 It was so nice to just be away for a whole week. We didn't know it before we left but we definitely all needed this time. The Cowboy and I, the kids and I... A week of no formal school, no house cleaning, no responsibilities at work. Just us, together, in the sunshine, eating good food, and laughing about all things "Farkle" until our bellies hurt, there by the campfire out under the stars. :)

It was lovely.

Truly lovely.