We were waiting on the porch for one of his friends to pick him up. TOgether with the friend's dad they would be off to the mountains to hunt and fish.
WE sat side by side on the porch steps.
"Oh ya, Mom?"
"Ya buddy."
"Don't forget to feed the chickens tomorrow while I'm gone."
"Got it. Thanks." I wink his way.
"And don't forget to take the dog out in the morning and feed him. It's best if you take him out before you eat breakfast so that you don't forget after you eat breakfast. Don't worry about the cats, I'll just feed them before I go to bed tomorrow night."
"Okay bud. Thanks for the reminder," I say it out loud and chuckle inside.
What is it about firstborns? My Siah, it seems he was born thinking he was already big.
Yesterday he finished first grade, and tonight he packed his own Batman backpack with all the warm clothes he could find and even remembered to slip his toothbrush into the side pocket..
He's getting so big, growing so fast.
When his friend's dad asked me if he could go hunting, my Siah was there, and he assured me that he was going to bless his friend, choose kindness, and obey Mr. Matt without any arguments or complaints.
All these character traits we're trying to foster around here.
It's this seemingly never-ending lesson.
Choosing kindness, practicing self-control over our emotions, over our actions.
I wonder if there has been any family throughout history who has really figured it all out? Figured out what real family-love looks like?
Surely real family love isn't without mistakes?
Surely real family love takes time? Maybe even a life-time?
Surely real family love has it's own fair-share of pain and heart-ache?
Don't even the best families struggle through some days? Maybe even most days?
He never said all this crazy-beautiful-messy life would be easy.
He simply said He would be here with me. He said that He, alone, would always be enough for this little heart of mine.
He said to keep my eye on the One and only treasure worth giving up my whole life for...
"The man who has God for his treasure has all things in One. Many ordinary treasures may be denied him, or if he is allowed to have them, the enjoyment of them will be so tempered that they will never be tempered to his happiness. Or if he must see them go, one after one, he will scarcely feel a sense of loss, for having the Source of all things he has in One all satisfaction, all pleasure, all delight. Whatever he may lose, he has actually lost nothing, for he now has it all in One, and he has it purely, legitimately and forever." Tozer, In The Pursuit of God.
In whatever is going right or wrong under this farmhouse roof, we have everything we need in Him.
We have a place to hide if only for a moment long enough to catch our breath. We have a place to begin again, a place to live fully alive in unfailing hope.
And we have it all, PURELY, LEGITIMATELY, and FOREVER.
My Siah and I, we've walked together through first grade. We've grown up this year, him and I, in the way that we're learning to love each other with the never-ending help of the one who calls Himself LOVE.
Lord, you know how human I can be, you know how what my heart knows to be best is not always the thing that comes out of my mouth. You know the very specific places where I stumble, you know the places where I fall flat on my face.
Lord, please don't let me stay there.
Help me to bring you the most glory by being a woman who lives fully alive.
My Siah came home tonight and wrapped his arms around his Mama.
He's getting big, but he's still my little guy.
We choose love around here, despite mistakes.
I love that. I'm grateful for that. I bathe my messy heart in that. :)
