I'm a mother. Right? I wash dishes, I change diapers, I clean the kitchen table,what feels like every twenty minutes. I try to train up, teach, guide, and model to my children life lessons with a cheerful heart. I have countless conversations about things that I never really thought that I would be talking about several times a day. Most days it seems like I eat, sleep and breath the issues and tasks that surround life with small children. And I'm tempted to let my mind convince me that my life is mundane, and maybe even impossibly extraordinary.
You see, I'm the type of mother that sometimes get so caught up in the things that I have convinced myself are important. All the laundry should be done and put away neatly in drawers... there should never be piles of laundry all over my house. There should never be dirty dishes piled up in my sink. The floors should be stain free and continuously vacuumed. Only kind words should escape from my mouth. I should brush my teeth at the very least, once a day...
Is this really what defines me? Is the location of the dishes what causes my children to see how much their Savior loves them? Is whether or not Siah can write the letter "A" perfectly on the first day of his second week of kindergarten gonna determine the way that he grows up and sees God's glory specifically played out in his life? Do the imperfections in my home make me less likely to be accepted by my Jesus?
It's like my mouth believes one thing, my actions show another thing, and my heart seeks yet even another thing. There's nothing mundane about being a mother. I might be doing several of the same petty tasks a zillion times throughout my days in our little home in Kansas-land, but in the midst of those petty tasks, I CONSTANTLY am being passionately pursued by my Savior. And He has given me these four little jars of clay, that He has enabled me to be a part of their molding process each and everyday. And as I attempt to be a part of molding them, I can physically feel Him molding me. Shaping my heart to be more like His. Some days all I can do is beg Him to show me how to grant the same grace that He gives me, to my children. Other days, all I can think to do is praise Him for the intricate, cute little details that He has created in each one of my treasures. And still other days, it's a sob-fest when it's Him and I, and I'm hashing out the the things that I don't understand about this world, about my life, or about my treasures.
Everyday of Motherhood has been a push into His arms. Sometimes it's been forced, and sometimes I go willingly.
Today I come willingly.
God I want nothing more than for my children to be satisfied in their relationship with you. I want to live a life of joy so that they know that their is nothing else on this earth that is more satisfying than being in an intimate love relationship with you. If my dishes have to hang out in my sink for a few extra hours during my day so that I can slow down enough to exemplify love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self control with my children, then so be it! Help my controlling self to get my priorities straight. And remind me Lord, that with you in control of my soul, my life as a mother, is anything but mundane!