Today we were eating a snack at the table and out of no where Siah asked me,
"Mom... How you's Mom die? Why she dead?"
It's the first time that he has ever asked me about my mom.
I have this picture of my mom by my bed and on many occasions I have told my kids that the picture by my bed is of "Mommy's Mommy." I have told them that she is at home in heaven with Jesus. And they've always seemed to accept what I've told them about her without much thought or question. Which I am totally ok with.
But today when Siah asked me about my mom it made me feel so glad. I don't think many people ask me about her because they think that the whole thing is a sad topic for me. And sometimes maybe it is... But even so, she is my mom and I love talking about her. I love being asked to remember the things that I really enjoyed about her. I love remembering the good memories.
After Siah asked me about her today, I was sitting at the table trying to remember if I had any memories still in my mind from when I was my kid's age, being with my mom. I wonder what my kids will remember about this time in their lives. I wonder if they'll have any memories at all.
One of the few things that I can recall from that far back was when I was five. I was in kindergarden and some how I had gotten my nose all scrapped up. I remember not wanting to go to school because I thought my nose looked so ugly. And although I was normally not allowed to wear any make-up, I remember my mom going to her bathroom and coming back to my room with her cover up and she made my scrapped up nose look somewhat normal. I remember her telling me, "It looks as good as new." And I remember believing her and getting dressed and going to school.
Out of all the conversations my mom had with me, out of allthe things I know she was purposing to teach me during that time, that is seriously the only memory I have of my mom and I when I was five. Which is such a great encouragement and challenge to me. Yes I want to guide and correct and instruct my kids, but if they are only going to have one or two memories from this age twenty years from now, then I hope and pray that they are memories of feeling loved and cherished by their Mama.
I'm glad Siah asked about my mom today. You can ask me too if you want... Honestly, I'd love to tell you anything you wanna know. :)