Choices

This is the season when activities start running rampant in my mind and I'm not even sure where to begin making a choice for a child, better yet ALL four our children. So I did the only thing I could think to do and asked My Joey.

"Who does what, when & why? Soccer? Karate? Ballet?"

And My wise yet simple man suggested that we give each of the oldest two, three choices of what they might like to participate in this Fall.

So this is how it went.

"Halee. Would you like to do Balle....?" And before I could even finish my sentence there was an exuberant, "YES! YES! YES! BALLET!!! Oh Mama, THANK YOU!"

So, no choices necessary there.

Then my sweet Siah,

"Bud, would you like play soccer with almost every other boy you know in town. Do Karate? OR, build a bike track with your Papa?"

It didn't take much thought...

He LOVES that Papa of his. And any time in his six years of life that he's had a chance to do anything with his Papa, he's smiled HUGE and given an exuberant "Yes!!!"

We have bikes galore around here. Some friends were cleaning out their garage a few weeks ago and brought a bunch of bikes up. Papaw helped adjust the gears on one of the new bikes so that Siah could get up the steep part of the track better.

He loves soccer too though. And the majority of his little friends are playing down at Cottonwood this Fall. But he so sweetly informed that we could just go down and watch his friends sometime... that is, whenever he's not mastering the bike track with his Papa. :)

To be totally honest, choices overwhelm this Mama sometimes. What to cook for dinner? What to do for school? How to encourage a child who has recently turned into Mr. Negative, to instead look on the bright side?

But it blesses my socks off when my son chooses time with his Papa. It blesses my socks off that in this season we are being given the gift of family. The gift of time together. The gift of a son and a Papa loving on each in a little dirt bike track in the middle of our farm field.

Some choices tie this Mama stomach up in knots.

Other choices, well, make this Mama heart skip a beat with joy. :)

The Sweet Spot

The kids are growing around here.

The way that we handle sin-struggles is changing too.

My Siah's got thoughts and opinions now. He's only six, but he is gaining more and more knowledge and understanding each day.

And he's in a life-stage of needing to learn a bit of self-control over his emotions, choosing a soft answer when everything in him feels like lashing out harsh words, & going through those inevitable growing pains of being held responsible for more mature actions, knowing that maturity rarely comes with ease.

He's quite an obedient kid. His heart wants to listen and obey but his busy six-year-old mind and body is working overtime against him in the department of diligence and attentiveness. His strength is in his heart of repentance... once he's realized his wrong he is quick to apologize and make it right.

So, we're working on things...

And we're doing it together... because the thing about being a parent of many small children is that I too am very much in the learning phase and I'm not always confident in exactly what it is I'm supposed to be doing to encourage my kids towards righteousness. I need God's help, moment by moment. I want the Lord to train me in being proactive and help me to overcome my tendency of being so reactive, as I interact with my kids.

Thus, The Sweet Spot...

I've thought to make a space in our home where anyone in need of Him (me first :) might be able to go throughout our days, at any time, for any reason. There are a lot of folks that live under this roof and sometimes we all just need a little space, a little quiet, a little Jesus to remind us that we are loved, that we are blessed, & that we really can do all things through Christ who gives us strength.

So for us, The Sweet Spot has become a hastily painted, old, barn-wood bench tucked away in a far corner of an unfinished sunroom.

On it rests a couple of Bibles (one for the treasures, and one for the Mama.)

There's a notepad and a pen to draw pictures and write, a way for our little artist to pour her heart out.

There's a small, green bowl holding a cup of flour... we slide our fingers through and script our struggles... Then we wipe them away with a swoop of our palm and thank our Jesus for his great act of forgiveness.

And last but not least, there's a round brown bowl that holds a handful of homemade reminder bracelets, card stock covered in His truth.

There are moments in ours days when one (or more) of the kids and I walk hand in hand to thatsweet spot in our home. It's not a place of punishment, but a place of restoration. It's a place of making all things new. A place of trying again.

We plop down on the bricks below the bench and chat about our hearts... try to discover a root of some sort. Sometimes we can, and sometimes we can't. But either way, togetherness at the foot of a prayer bench seems to be working for us.

Sometimes we find one of those homemade bracelets with just the right words on it and turn into a constant reminder of how we wanna treat each other as a family. Because I find that we are all so forgetful around here and when I asked the Lord just how we might remember He led me to this. So now, we tie.

Sometimes we write in the sand. Sometimes we just sit quietly and let the other person think a bit. Sometimes we cry. Sometimes we end up in laughter. But the goal is to leave that sweet spot with a new sense of hope. Hope that we're in process. Hope that He is faithful to mold us into whatever He wants us to be for His glory. Some days we only go there once or twice. Some days it seems that we should add a sleeping bag to the sweet spot and make it a bit more comfortable.

It's not a perfect solution to all things parenting... The kids still get discouraged, still give attitude, and aren't always as eager about the sweet spot as I had dreamed they would be, but it's helping us to discover more about each other. It's slowing us down and causing us to ask, to seek, to knock. And that little sweet spot is opening up a new door, a new way of delighting in family through a new life-phase with many small children.

And besides all that, it's often a snack bar for the littlest one. :)

#'s 569-571

A place to go and try again with my treasures,

New ideas to lead my kiddos to Him,

Flour everywhere,

A piece of gum, and early morning run, and a beautiful hand picked bouquet of wild flowers,

A slow gathering of school supplies,

A Papaw being a horse around the living room with two giggling girls riding tall,

A boy and his bike.

Being a listening ear,

Friendship and living life together...

This Boy, This Girl

I really love being a Mama.

Yes,

they break me,

they mold me,

they train me,

they bless me,

they make me laugh,

they make me brave,

they don't quite get the concept of the slip and slide,

and so,

they bring this Mama back to those childhood days,

in mid-summer heat,

those days when the only care I had in the world was that feeling of goosebumps enveloping my golden skin, as the breeze blew oh-so lightly across my soaking wet world.

Yep, that's me down there on that slip and slide... Yes, in my clothes...

And FULL, of that kinda joy in my heart that can't help but make it's way up to my face.

How lucky am I that I'm 32 and spending my moments with four amazing treasures, splashing in the hose, laughing until our belly's hurt...

These kids... Man, these kids...

My Hal,

She has the kindest heart.

She loves deep.

She's sensitive.

When she's around family, she's a ham. She makes up funny voices when she talks and laughs at her own jokes. :)

But she's shy and to herself when she's around peers.

She needs a lot of hugs and verbal affirmation and I am more than happy to lavish those things on her.

God's grown her and my relationship the most this year out of all the treasures. He's been so kind in showing me very specific ways in which I can love on her and encourage her heart. I'm so thankful and find myself falling more and more in love with her each day. I LOVE THIS GIRL!

My Siah,

I just plain don't understand how he's grown up so fast.

He's all boy but with a sensitive heart as well. He works hard around our little farm. He asks me a lot of questions... most, I don;t know the answer to. :)

I hate to jump the gun but I'm thinking this young lad is going to be an incredible man someday. He's so much like his Papa, and quite frankly his Papa's an incredible man.

What it is about Siah that I love so much is that he keeps me growing, he keeps me learning. His curious spirit ignites mine and I have discovered so much about life and the world and Christ from his inquisitiveness.

He's brave and adventurous and all my life those would be the last words that I would have used to describe myself... but his encouraging words and example have pulled me way out of my comfort zone and some days have even made me feel like the coolest mom in the world. I've killed a lot of mice this summer with my machete and my Siah stands in the kitchen and watches with a hawk's eye and when the mouse head is detached from the body and on the floor, my Siah claps and cheers and boasts to his friends that his Mama is a mouse-chopper! It's hilarious and life-changing for this Mama. :) Weird, I know... I never thought that chopping mice would be one of the things that draws this Mama and son a wee-bit closer. I LOVE THIS BOY!

My Jeddy,

He's loves him some Mama!!!

He's joyful, but a cry-er.... if that's possible. :)

He doesn't say all that much these days.

He ca sign for "more" and says bye and waves, but that's about it.

He's all boy and tumbles without tears.

He makes me smile so big I can hardly contain myself.

Just looking at him sometimes can change my whole demeanor.

Can't wait to see what this little guy is gonna be like.

I LOVE THIS BOY!

And My Reesie...

Well, she's her own breed of pure loveliness. She's best described through stories. So the latest goes like this:

She's devouring a ripe juicy peach at the kitchen table. She's new to the "eating the whole piece of fruit" thing, as opposed to the usual cut up pieces that Mama puts on her lunch plate. She gets down to the pit of the peach and looks at us awkwardly, then looks back at the peach,

"Mama, I think there's poop in my peach! See!"

She holds it up and points to the seed.

She's just a big ball of three-year-old-hoot!

She's the gal that sits at the dinner table and inquires of her Papa,

"So Pops, how was work today?"

She's THREE! "So Pops, how was work today"???

Seriously??

****************

TOday she made me smile huge...

We're all crowded around The Sweet Spot (I'll post about that soon) in our home... And I'm explaining to all of them something about sin. And two out of the three look at me like they are at least semi getting it, and then I look at Reesie who seems to me like she's in LaLa-land. So I ask her if she's been listening and if she can tell me just what it is that I've been talking about.

And that girl looks at me with her little Reesie-tude and says it,

"That sin stuff Mama, (she puts her hand up on her chin and kinda tilts her head to the side like she's thinking about something really deep) well, it's just so so sad." (then she sticks her lower lip out and makes this pouty face and crosses her arms.)

I look at her and smile huge cuz I'm thinking, what in the world? And that little stinker starts laughing her little head off. Was she trying to be funny?? Gosh, I don't even know. But at least she was listening... so much so that she had a very dramatized emotional response to my attempt to catch her in her dawdling. :)

SHE"S THREE! "That sin stuff is just so so sad"???

Where does she come up with this stuff.

She's my super spunk and she's in my life to help lighten me up and laugh a little more. She's in my life to remind me to spend time on the important issues of the heart, and laugh off the small the things that quite frankly, just don't matter.

She walks around the farm in her Papa's flip flops with her Papa's hammer, with the best facial expressions and a lovely smile. She's growing tall and thinning out and her little personality (or not so little :) is alive and well. I LOVE THIS GIRL!

I'm in love...

It's not to say that I'm not in reality...

Somedays there's so much whining going on under this roof that I find myself just joining in, just because I can't think of what else I might do in the moment.

Somedays, I simply feel done. Done with the laundry, done with the dishes, done with the eating, eating, eating, followed by the clean up, clean up, clean up...

But then I remember what You said Lord,

"Put your hope in God, who richly provides us with EVERYTHING for our enjoyment!"

(1 Timothy 6:17)

"The LORD works out EVERYTHING to its proper end..." (Proverbs 16:4)

I don't always do things right, but you work all things out for Your good.

These treasures are here for my enjoyment... And I can chill-lax a wee bit and know that You love them way more than I ever could. I don't know how that's possible but I know that it's true.

So enjoy them I do!

Love Your Enemies?

Sometimes the scriptures surprise me.

Sometimes I wonder how it is that I'm really to live the way that He did.

He said that this is how we know what love is...

"Jesus gave up his life for us. So we also ought to give up our lives for our brothers and sisters." (1 John 3:16)

Phew! I would gladly lay down my life for those who have been kind to me, for those who have lavished an unconditional love on me.

But then in church this Sunday he went on to point out that Jesus takes it a million steps further and He calls us to actually love those who hate us, to love our enemies.

"But love your enemies, do good to them, and lend to them without expecting to get anything back. Then your reward will be great, and you will be children of the Most High, because He is kind to the ungrateful and wicked." (Luke 6:35) (He makes the same command here, and here)

Ouch!

He uses the same word in describing His great love for us as He does when He commands (not suggests, bummer :) that we love our enemies.

And when I think about it, well, why wouldn't He? I mean that's exactly what He did. He laid down His life for His enemies.

In this life, many of us, we carry deep wounds. How can it be then that we are to actually lay down our lives for the folks that have punctured us the deepest?

And yet the Lord Himself receives the most glory in us when we allow Him to do the seemingly impossible through our humble obedience, despite our understanding.

I read once, many years ago in the newspaper, about an Amish community that publicly forgave the man who came into their schoolhouse and shot dead several of their children.

I can imagine that there were many who heard that story and thought that community to be simply foolish for offering such grace to someone completely undeserving. But the Word is clear about that too...

"The person without the Spirit does not accept the things that come from the Spirit of God but considers them foolishness, and cannot understand them because they are discerned only through the Spirit." (1 Corinthians 2:14)

But for those who have ears to hear and eyes to see (acts 28:27)... Do we have any idea what an impact such forgiveness has on a nation? On a family?

It's hard in this world to see like Christ sees. The world tells of how we must always be looking out for ourselves. How we must protect our own hearts from further pain. And for so many years I've lived that way. I gravitate towards the folks who will sympathize with my brokenness. But after listening on a Sunday morning, I'm starting to think that although the world's way is much more comfortable to me, I'm no longer sure that it's biblical.

He concluded our morning with the story of a woman who's son had been shot and killed by some guy's carelessness. The woman sought out her son's killer and not only forgave him, but built a life-long relationship with him and now they are neighbors.

There's that old children's song that talks of how the world will know that we are Christians by our love. If our love looks exactly like the world's how then will they know? But if it looks like Christ's, love in the least likely places... how then, will they not know?

Since the first Sunday that I started walking through this life with these folks, I have not once walked away the same woman that I was before I sat in that little chapel. If you'd like to be blessed and challenged to be more like Him, no matter the cost.... then grab a cup of coffee and get comfy on the couch...

A Place Called Simplicity

Granny and Gramps came to town last week.

And together we soaked up the simple life...

Some days Gramps and Siah would hunt for snakes in the back yard,

Some days little boys would fall asleep in Granny's arms,

Some days joy-filled little girls would hold tight to their Gramps,

Some days, a little green-eyed beauty would ride her scooter down near the lake,

Some days we'd all get covered in chocolate...

Some days, littlest one would eat pretzels off the ground...

Some days Gramps would push them high into wonder,

And still other days, we'd all look on in wonder at the ways He's growing us all up around here.

We had a good visit spending most of our moments lingering in a place called simplicity. :)