Friday, April 18, 2014

Holy In The Ordinary

The oldest chap finds himself all bent out of shape on the kitchen floor because his Camelbak hydration pack isn't working the way he wants it to.

His Papa attempts to lighten the mood and cracks a joke and the oldest doesn't care for jokes when he's sprawled out on the kitchen floor all flustered over the imperfections of this world's stuff.

One little girl can't find her shoe and the middle boy is genuinely concerned as to whether or not there will be snacks where we're going.

I'm in the basement looking for a sun hat that might fit the youngest chap and I can hear all the havoc of harsh words and discontent going on above me.

It's a gorgeous Good Friday and our little family of seven is trying to get out the door for a hike by the lake, and... I'm in the basement...
and my goodness!! Does Jesus really live in this farmhouse??

And I've been thinking about these words all week long... all these days of Holy Week... the week where His world wide rescue plan comes to fruition... the week where the laying down of His life, brings my brokenness into a state of almost unimaginable hope.

These words...

Kacy Clark, You are chosen, set apart, and loved by God.

Do I devote my heart to this mystery, to this truth?

In this farmhouse my flesh is a-l-w-a-y-s floundering. I know what I am but I live like I've never heard...

That I am indeed chosen, set apart and loved by a most holy God.

I've been pleading with the Lord daily, that this very truth would be the heartbeat of my marriage, of my mothering, of my life...

"Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.
 Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace.And be thankful. Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts. And whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him." Colossians 3:12-19

I've heard these words so many times.

I've read them over and over and over again in His Word... BUT...

"Am I stunned and broken and built up and made glad, and merciful because I am chosen, holy, & loved?" 

I long for our home to reflect that this Mama, truly knows what Christ has done... so much so that I am able to be changed. That my anger, and annoyance, and sharp words would be gone because my heart has been broken in the best way by the deep knowledge of Christ's utter selfLESSness toward me, a woman so imperfect? 

Piper convicts my heart with these words...

"If you are quick to anger, instead of being long-suffering, the root is probably lack of mercy and lack of lowliness. In other words, being chosen, holy, and loved, has not yet broken your heart and brought you down from self centeredness and pride."

If anyone out there is interested in being sanctified, become a mother... become a wife... become the kind of friend that lives the real, the raw with your friends. Relationship, the kind that sees the real you and still sticks around day in and day out, is hard. It's humbling. And yet it is fresh ground for sanctification, for learning to be more like Christ. 

"Am I stunned and broken and built up and made glad, and merciful because I am chosen, holy, & loved?"

Then why do I still find myself so angry over the gallon of milk that was left out on the counter or sharp with the child who insists on goofing off with his sister when he's supposed to be doing math? 

It's Holy Week and I'm the Mama who so often lives like she's forgotten the cross. Holy Week is wonder-FULL because Christ makes it full of wonder. Holy week is holy because this is the week in history when Jesus through his utterly selfless sacrifice on the cross, "chose us and made us holy and loved." 

This week is Holy Week because Christ, in his kindness, is meeting this Mama, in a humble little farmhouse outside the mile-high city and reminding her heart repeatedly, that she is indeed chosen, holy and loved by a loving, merciful God. 

And on the morning of Good Friday, I find myself sitting at the kitchen table alone, my chin sunk down into the palms of my hands, and my mind just repeating those words, chosen, holy, loved... chosen, holy, loved... chosen, holy, loved.

These weeks before Easter I have been captivated by the cross, captivated by Christ's mercy, compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience that He continually shows me. Blown away. Made hopeful. 

All this, in the ordinariness of this place. I might continually be made brutally aware of all that I am not, but it often brings me to a tender, sweet knowledge of all that He always is.

"But he was pierced for our transgressions,
    he was crushed for our iniquities;
the punishment that brought us peace was on him,
    and by his wounds we are healed." Isaiah 53:5

The cross... the ugly-beautiful of this whole crazy life...

I walked up the wood steps and into the kitchen. Wrapped my arms around the crying boy and whispered God-hope into his ear. He stood up tall and apologized to his Papa for that sharp response.

Together we found the little girl's shoe tucked in an odd corner of the farmhouse.

There is Holy found here in the ordinary.

Thankful for the cross, the place where all my sins are washed clean by your blood.

Thankful that You rose again on the third day and are seated at the right hand of The Father.

Thankful for Easter and for hope.

And immense gratitude that You are allowing, and teaching me to be "stunned and broken and built up and made glad, and merciful because I am chosen, holy, & loved by You?"