Tuesday, December 31, 2013

Him & Hallelujah {The Beginning Of A New Year}

I'm one of those girls who listens to songs over and over and over again.

Words can mold a woman.

And this song...

No exaggeration, I've probably listened to these words more than 100 times in the past few weeks...

It's the end that moves me; that last chorus.

It goes like this...

"I know you came to rescue me
This baby boy would grow to be a man who one day died for me and you 
My sins would drive the nails in you 
That rugged cross, was my cross too 
Still every breath you drew was Hallelujah

It makes me long for Him.
It helps me understand what I might be able to do with my soul-pain.
It helps me see that whatever He sees fit for my life, no matter how messy it might seem to my feeble mind, or stinging it may feel to my fragile heart, He is worthy of my Hallelujah...  He is worthy of my Praise.

This new year?

She always names the year.

And in all honesty I have no idea how to name a year.

But these past few days, these past few weeks and months, I've longed for Him. I've longed for Him to penetrate my heart, for Him to tell the depths of this messy soul that ALL is truly Hallelujah.

It really is.

If He can hang on a cross for my heinous sins and STILL breath Hallelujah??

Then yes.

Yes, ALL is Hallelujah. ALL is praise.

A Christmas Day of throw-up and fevers... Hallelujah.

A season of Postpartum depression... a season of surrendering to the very thing that you don't want to even admit is happening to you... none of us really wants to be broken... Hallelujah.

Fighting to choose joy when you don't feel joy... Hallelujah. 

Not knowing how to train up these treasures, or how to always choose kindness, or how to be slow to speak and quick to listen... Hallelujah.

Knowing that you ask us to be in community, but constantly battling wanting to just hide out in the farmhouse... Hallelujah.

This year?



Praising His precious precious name in ALL things.

Whatever He brings is sufficient and for His glory.

Whatever. Whenever.

If He finds it necessary, I hope to chose to breath out Hallelujah through it all.

He is sufficient.

He is worthy.

All my praise.