How I Feel About Five

Its true.

Lord willing, we'll be meeting another little Clark in early August.

I feel...

Joyful,

Inadequate,

Privileged,

Unable &

Honored 

that He might entrust us with five.

I feel in love all over again with my Cowboy, babies can do that to a woman you know. 

Whenever God places life within me I get overwhelmed by the sweetness of His gift of intimacy that He's given to my Joey and me. 

I just love that man of mine!

And when we found out about this little one, my Cowboy encouraged me all the more that the Lord has awesome things up His sleeve for us. 

Is it gonna be easy? Probably not.

Are they all gonna have college funds, and their own bedrooms, and a shiny new car when they turn 16? 

No.

But they will grow up in a home where there's an endless supply of love and grace. They'll grow up with ample opportunity to learn to think about others above themselves. They'll grow up practicing forgiveness and self-control. They'll be bathed in His Word and covered in their Mama & Papa's prayers.

How do I feel about five?

I'm gonna go with Mrs. E Prentiss on this one...

"Some say I shall now have one mouth the more to fill and two feet the more to shoe, more disturbed nights, more laborious days, and less leisure or visiting, reading, music, and drawing. 

Well. This is one side of the story, to be sure, but I look at the other.

Here is a sweet, fragrant mouth to kiss; here are two more feet to make music their pattering about my home.

Here is a soul to train for God; and the body in which it dwells is worthy all it will cost, since it is the abode of a kingly tenant.

I may see less of friends, but I have gained one dearer than them all, to whom, while I minister in Christ's name, I make a willing sacrifice of what little leisure for my own recreation my other (treasures) had left me. 

Yes, my precious baby, you are welcome to your mother's heart, welcome to her time, her strength, her health, her tenderest cares, to her lifelong prayers! Oh, how rich I am, how truly, truly blessed!!" 

I've been thinking about my Jesus and His up-side-down kingdom. He once said,"that the Son of Man did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give His life as a ransom for many." 

So like she said, "This baby is welcome to my heart, welcome to my time, my strength, my health, my tenderest cares, and my lifelong prayers." 

That's how I feel about #5. :)

Pete Is Dead; A Not Very Christmas-Like, Christmas Story

I knew it was going to happen some day, I just didn't think it would happen so close to Christmas, the time of year when we think about things like Christ, and love, and yummy holiday treats.

But things on the farm don't wait for the right timing.

It happened on a Tuesday morning, one week shy of Christmas Day itself.

In a house of twenty hens, there lives one lone rooster.

On the day we brought him to the farm, Pete was as kind of rooster as any rooster can be.

But as the months have passed, he has turned in to a nasty little thing and the kids and I find ourselves praying before we go down to feed and water the chickens that the darn thing won't attack us.

The Cowboy would just laugh when we told of the rooster's ruckus, and he would always say, "I don't know why y'all have so much trouble, he's never done anything to me. You just have to be nice to him." (As if the treasures and I are some sort of rooster abusers??? No, not me... I love animals! LOL. :)

Something in me would just bubble over every time he said that. Our rooster is nastier than, well, I'don't know, something terribly nasty, and when the Cowboy gets all smiley and a bit overly confident in how much Pete loves him, I just  wanna  pick Pete up by the tail and throw him into the Cowboy's bed while  he's sleeping!  (Yes, I might just have a little bit of a rebellious side.)

But TODAY... today my dear friends, was the day I've been waiting for. 

Pete finally let loose on My Cowboy.

And when my Siah came walking in the front door, all proud with a bloody rooster head in his hand, I couldn't help but smile from ear to ear. Pete the rooster had finally let loose on my confident Cowboy and my man put him in his rightful place... our freezer.

On my way into town today, I stopped at the barn where Gramps and the Cowboy were standing by the poor headless chicken. I rolled down my window and the Cowboy asked in all seriousness, "Can you pluck em' when you get home?" 

I must confess that I threw up in my mouth. 

There is this part of me hidden somewhere under my left elbow, that wants nothing more than to be a true farmers wife. But then there's the other 95%  of me that can easily confess that I just might not be cut out for the details of this crazy life.

I don't do blood. I don't chop off heads. I don't pluck.

I eat prepackaged meat, with no skin and no bones, straight from aisle 4 from the market in town.

I think I'm with my Reesie-girl on her feelings about lettuce. When I told her that all lettuce comes from the ground, she simply chose to stick with her own opinions and still lives in the full confidence that lettuce comes from stores.

I know where chickens come from, I'm just completely sure that I don't want to go there. 

And after the Cowboy watched me swallow my own throw up and drive out the farm gates, he graciously let me off the hook and took care of business while I was in town with our many small treasures. 

Thanks my love... 

I owe you one.

Merry Christmas from the farm. :)

Because Christmas Isn't Always What You Think It Should Be...

Dearest Pioneer Woman,

Oh how I envy you and all the beautiful food you make.

Today I thought to make these delicious mint brownie bites that you posted on your blog for my Dancing Girl's class party tomorrow...

I followed your directions to a T, reading each detail at least three times through.

I put them in the oven and I could smell their loveliness all throughout my little farmhouse.

And when the timer went off I could hardly contain my excitement.

But when I opened the oven....

MY_OH_MY...

WHAT_ON_EARTH_HAPPENED_TO_MY_PRECIOUS_BROWNIE_BITES????

MMMM...

These don't look quite like your beautiful picture at the top of this post...

I can be an optimist if I try. So maybe I can salvage these and just kind of reshape them when they come out of the pan???? 

Maybe, just maybe I can get them to look like your perfect little brownie bites??

Then again....

Maybe not.

Oh Christmas, how I love thee even when my good intentions turn into a pile of chocolate madness on my cookie sheet. :)

Because She's Beautiful

She came in the front door after a long day of classes in town.

Dropping her back pack on the floor in the middle of the kitchen, she flung her coat onto the counter, then wrapped her arms around her Mama.

"Can I go put my new dress on Mama? Can I? Can I?"

The night of her Christmas concert was finally here and she had pulled that sparkle dress off it's hanger at least a dozen times over the past week, asking her Mama just how many more days it was until she would finally get to wear it.

Her Mama painted their nails, curled their hair.

And when she walked down the stairs in her sparkle dress you could see all over her face that her heart was glowing!

She stood up tall on the bleachers in her school's "cafe-gym-atorium." Knowing every last word to every last song, her family watched her all proud from their seats.

Her Charming brother was feeling quite peppy during the concert and kept her Mama pacing in the back row. But when she spotted them from her place on the stage, she flung her arm up high and waved, her whole body smiling.

She looked so beautiful up there in her sparkle dress.

But even more so, her Jesus has given her this gorgeous heart... a heart that finds joy in the least likely of places... a heart that delights in others above herself... a heart that is more amazing than her Mama could have ever thought to ask for. :)

My little Dancing Girl...

She's lovely, and she's loved!

....and this.... just because it makes me smile.

Home

This will be our third Christmas on the farm. 

It's the most Christmas's we've ever spent in one place. 

There are God-size reasons that we've moved so much in the past and I'm sure there are God-size reasons why we might be in this humble farmhouse for many years to come. 

And the truth is, 

I am so very thankful for the privilege of this place.

HOME__ /hom/-

"The Christian home is where we find spiritual agreement and purpose. Here is where we build Christian character and teach sound doctrine within the privacy of the family unit. Here is where love begins, kindness is shown to all, and loyalty is instilled in each member. Here is where children are free to share their dreams and fears openly..."

{A great little blurb on what a Biblical home looks like, here}

I want our home to be a safe-haven for the five that I love most. But our home has never been about the building, it's about the folks that live inside and even more than that, it's about what's in the hearts of those folks. 

During the season of Christ come down, 

what better way to soak up all that Christ has already given than to give all of ourselves in learning to love like He loves?

So on the first Saturday of December I woke up early. 

I switched the laundry, and straigtened up the living room. 

I turned the Christmas music on low and smiled to myself as I brushed my teeth. 

Each year since we've been in this place, we start December with a drive up the mountain to find the perfect Christmas tree. 

It's this thing we do as a family.

It's a coming together to start a season well.

We eat donuts and Mama takes an insane amount of pictures and we chat about how great it was the year before, and how this year is gonna be even better.

And it's true, each year does get better. 

There are more memories made and laughter had, and there is always that moment when we make that final decision, as a family, to deem that one tree deep in the forest to be OURS. 

It's not about the tree.

It's about us together. 

Its about home.

It's about the place where we build each other up in Him and we choose kindness and our love for our Jesus and each other grows through the hunt of how to do all these things well. 

Home is where He refines us.

It's where He makes us aware of our weakness and His strength.

That's the awesomeness of family. 

We don't have it all together. 

We figure it out one piece at a time. Then after a lifetime of surrender and selflessness and uninhibited love for one another.... Then... THEN... He turns all the pieces into a masterpiece for His glory.

And on a Saturday in early December we  soak up a bit more of His extravagant love.