Saturday, January 21, 2012

All That's Needed Are His Eyes

I had this feeling that he just might be the first.

It's been those kind of weeks here on the farm.

The ones where we pass the ailments around, and one by one the six of us living under this farmhouse roof have more opportunity to practice a bit of the real meaning of patience... acceptance with joy.

First the dancing girl with a UTI, then the boys with the flu... then the Mama with the flu.

And when all seems to be on the mend...

That little Charmer of ours tumbles all the way down the stairs at a friends house and earns himself a lovely trip to the ER with his Mama.

And to add to the loveliness of it all, it turns out that I forgot to turn in the paper work to renew the little Charmers health insurance. And I can't complete the paper work without his birth certificate. And well... Bummer... I still haven't gotten one of those for him either. :)

These weren't the plans I had for our week.

Now it's Friday morning and  I feel my shoulders tightening and I text a prayer friend for some reinforcement.

Taking a deep breath, I head to the kitchen, cut up some strawberries to pack in their lunch and I mumble frustration under my breath. A little one comes in and I spout off something quick, something harsh, and the little one begins to cry.

Her tears rip me right out of my pity party and I just can't stand the way that enemy gets the very best of me sometimes.

I make it right quick and pull that treasure in close and we hold each other long.

All I want Lord is your eyes. I just need to see what you see.

I know that you've been working on this jar of clay for some time now. I know I'm not the same woman I was just a few years ago, a few months ago, maybe even a few days ago.

How does it go again?

Oh ya...

There is always hope in You... Always.

And I know that you're real because I find myself standing there in that kitchen and my heart starts to see the very things that I couldn't even think upon just five minutes before.

There on the fridge is that list of the ways that You love me, that list that has been changing me all year long.

I grab that red pen on the counter and I write it all down and you open my eyes to Your extravagant love.

Thank you Lord that I even have an opportunity to have insurance for my children.
Thank you that I there's gas in my car to get me to the places that I need to go to get the things that I need for these treasures of mine.
Thank you for dear friends that take the oldest treasures in for the afternoon so that they don't have to be drug all over town all afternoon.
Thank you that we live here in this place, near a hospital that provides incredible care, the best in the world. Thank you for access to such care for the ones that I hold so dear. 

I leave the farmhouse and set out into all that had to be done on a Friday afternoon, with a little boy in tote who is still refusing to move his right arm. And I must say that I not only did I find acceptance in what He had chosen to give me in today, but I found acceptance with joy.

That's the way He loves. 

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us and eternal glory that far outweighs them all. SO we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

The day has come to an end.

And He was there, in every place.

At the records office I was the only one in line.
At the insurance office I was in and out in less than an hour.
At the ER, they took us right in and got the Charmer an X-ray right away on his little arm.

And the added bonus was this little face looking up at me all day.

{The Charmer in the ER}

Thank you Lord for the rare gift of having a whole afternoon alone with this little one. 
Thank you that even though it turned out that he fractured both bones in his little right arm falling down those stairs, he still spent the afternoon all up in smiles and giggles. 
Thank you that he walked himself right out of the ER, full of little man pride in his new dinosaur sling.
Thank you that he cheered up the old woman in the waiting room with his stellar smile and his made-up words as he showed her those dinosaurs.
Thank you that when we walked in the door after a long day together, the Cowboy had dinner already in the oven.
Thank you for the way the two of them say their names back and forth at each other in a deep man voice every time they see one another... "Jeddy!" "Papa!" "Jeddy!" "Papa!" Thank you that they both end up in giggles.
Thank you for the Cowboy and the way he helps a Mama out.
Thank you for the way he loves on and cherishes each one of our treasures. 

Thank you that I get to do this life, all this life with a man like the Cowboy. 
Thank you for making us a good team.
Thank you that we're home now, and the farmhouse is warm, and the treasures are all sound asleep in their beds. 
Thank you that tonight the Cowboy and I laughed about silly things together, us all tied up together on the little couch in the corner. 

Thank you for eyes to see what you've already always known...

A Savior so madly in love with His beloved that He so graciously opens her eyes to the thousands of ways that He loves each and every day.

{#'s 715-731 of the list of ways that He loves.}