Sunday, May 8, 2011

I Wanna Remember

Today I just want to remember.

I wanna remember her spaghetti stained faced, her crazy hair, her white dress and her pouty face. I wanna remember how free she is the be all a fluster... How her arms crossed and her lip went out the moment that I told her we were going to take a picture. I wanna remember how when I speak to her kindly and give her an (obvious) choice, she turns on a dime from grouch to giggles. I wanna remember how her and I feel exactly the same when we wake up from long afternoon naps... feelin like, for the sake of the rest of the family, we should probably just go right back to bed. I wanna remember how close she wanted to sit to me in the restaurant booth today, and the way she wraps her pudgy little arms around my neck and leans back, face full of smiles.

I wanna remember her. Her soft, sweet voice, the way she asks so politely. I wanna remember her pitch black eye lashes up against her snow white skin. I wanna remember her white dress and her brown boots and the love she has for twirling anytime, everywhere. I wanna remember the way she rested her hand on me today and practiced waiting so patiently as I spoke with a friend. I wanna remember her mouth open wide and her eyes bulging big as she lifted that waffle piled high in strawberries and whipped cream wondering how she might actually fit that thing into her mouth. I wanna remember the way she hasn't quite figured out how to give, the way she makes me things at church and then inevitably asks if she can keep them "in her room, where she can keep them safe."

I wanna remember how his length already towers up to my chest, how his long strong boy legs are always marked with remnants of boy wonder. I wanna remember him and how he lost his second tooth this Mother's Day. I wanna remember that again toothless grin, that sweet spirit of his that asked at the breakfast table why everyday wasn't Mother's Day, remember that when His Papa asked him what he loved about his Mama he said, "I love the way she loves me." I wanna remember the way he handed me that rose when I picked him up from his class... "Sorry I broke the top off Mom. It's still beautiful right?" I wanna remember his big brown eyes, and how he still likes to wrap his arms around my waist a couple times a day.

I wanna remember him and how his bright blue eyes can captivate you. I wanna remember how he woke up this morning with a mini mohawk and how I just left it alone cuz secretly I thought it was adorable. I wanna remember how in our mini-wanna-be photo shoot today, a snake started slithering towards us and how I got up on a stump to save myself and forgot poor little Jeddy sitting there helpless in the grass. I wanna remember how I got him in time and how his Papa proudly chopped the snakes head off and saved the day.

I wanna remember how it's practically impossible to get a perfect picture of the kids, but it's always possible to capture to real and raw life of my many small treasures... the pouty faces, the eyes squeezed tight to block out the sun, the stained dresses, the funny faces... it's all there... it's all real... it's all truly lovely.

I wanna remember that all Mama's are on the endless learning curve, remember that God uses kids to take us from being children ourselves into wiser womanhood. I wanna remember that although six years have already gone by, this is still only the beginning... The beginning of learning to be wise, the beginning of some of the greatest joys a Mama heart can ever experience.

I wanna remember today and how they all sat on the log in our yard and threw up their hands and shouted, "HAPPY MOTHER"S DAY!!!"... even if littlest girl said it with a pouty face.

Remember the privilege.
Remember the gift.
Remember the ways that they love so unconditionally.
Remember that this is only the beginning.

Happy Mother's Day! :)