I'm sure that we all have things about ourselves that we don't really care for. And the bummer part is that some of those things haven't always been there. They've crept in over the years. They've made their mark as we've experienced life. Maybe our toes aren't as straight as they used to be because we've run into a few to many things and broken them a couple of times. Maybe we've had a surgery that has left a sizable scar somewhere on our body. Or maybe it's just been life, turning our soft smooth baby skin into a sea of wrinkles... or time, thinning out the hair on our head and magically relocating it to the insides of our ears, where we never anticipated that it would be.
The thing is, we change. And there are some times in my life that I am painfully aware of the fact that I don't look like I once did. Nine months pregnant with baby #7 has definitely been one of those times. Joey and I have been together since I was a teenager. He has known me and my body through several stages of my life. And quite frankly I definitely don't look like I did ten years ago.
This morning I was looking in the mirror while I was finishing up brushing my teeth. I couldn't help but get a bit overwhelmed by the darks spots that have taken over my face. I am completely pregnant and I found myself on the verge of tears, staring into the mirror at what my whole body had become, when Joey came up behind me and wrapped his masculine arms around me and kissed my cheek, and softly said, "You are the most beautiful wife that anyone could ever have."
"Look at me!" I sighed
He kissed my cheek again while he rested his hands on my bare, stretch mark infested belly.
"Yeah, look at you. Look at the evidence of all that God has blessed us with. Man, you're beautiful!"
Wow! I was so tempted to come back with a million reasons as to why I am NOT so beautiful. But instead I just stared at him as he stared right at my scarred face with his funny-goofy smile and his bright eyes that just so clearly said, "I am so in love with you."
I feel like the Lord was just using my Joey this morning to remind me of what makes us beautiful. It's not the scars that take over our skin. It's Christ's love within us that's so overflowing that it splashes out into the lives of the people around us that makes us beautiful. It's the evidence that sometimes appears on our skin that shows the world what the Lord has blessed us with.
I wish with all my heart that I was not one of "those" girls that ever got caught in tears in the bathroom because she was so overwhelmed and maybe even slightly disgusted by the hand she had been dealt with her pregnancy mask and stretch marks. But the truth is that sometimes I am that girl. And the sweet part about the whole thing is that the Lord so gently and tenderly used my husband this morning to bring me back around to the truth...
The truth that...
"The king is enthralled by your (my) beauty" Psalm 45:11
I think this morning, I was challenged to rethink my "scars."
And as Joey walked away from me and I was left to myself once again in the bathroom, I looked in the mirror and as my tears dried up, I think I might have even seen a little smile creep across my face as I whispered to my Jesus,
"Thank you Lord, for my scars."