I went to a Beth Moore Conference this past weekend with Tara and a few other friends...
It was awesome to say the least. It's hard to know what to record here on this post. There was so much said. There were so many challenges given. So much truth spoken. So many hard things to contemplate. But as the weekend trekked on, I found myself thinking a lot about my life, my heart, my words, my actions, the things I love, the things that get under my skin, the things that the Lord has so graciously revealed to me over the years, and the things about God and his character that my human mind just cannot seem to grasp... conferences often do that ya know.
And throughout the weekend I found myself Falling deeper and deeper into my relationship with Christ.
Falling out of my own insecurities and into God's extravagant love for me! "His love was not cautious but extravagant! He did not love in order to get something from us but to give EVERYTHING of himself to us!" Ephesians 5 (The Message) I asked myself this weekend... if this is true, if the God of the universe truly is this in love with little old me, then seriously I should be overflowing with confidence in being me, in being Kacy Nicole Clark. The extravagant love that He lavishes on me as daughter of the Most High King??? WOW! Goodbye insecurity!!
Falling out of my fears and into God's indescribable peace."We now have this light shining in our hearts, but we ourselves are like fragile clay jars containing this great treasure. This makes it clear that our great power is from God, not from ourselves. We are pressed on every side by troubles, but we are not crushed. We are perplexed, but not driven to despair. We are hunted down, but never abandoned by God. We get knocked down, but we are not destroyed. Through suffering, our bodies continue to share in the death of Jesus so that the life of Jesus may also be seen in our bodies....
That is why we never give up. Though our bodies are dying, our spirits are being renewed every day. For our present troubles are small and won’t last very long. Yet they produce for us a glory that vastly outweighs them and will last forever! So we don’t look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever." 2 Corinthians 4:7-12, 16-18
"God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble." Psalm 46:1
We HAVE SOO MUCH HOPE in knowing Christ!!! He is so very honest with us in letting us know that we will go through crap in this world. He never once pretends that we won't! But we CAN get past our shattered dreams knowing that at the end of all the trails is an eternity spent in God's magnificent GLORY! I'm finding myself falling away from my fears and into the truth of His Word.
Falling out of laziness and into a deep desire to truly know The Word Of GOd! "My people perish for lack of knowledge." Isaiah 5
It has always been a temptation of mine to use my life with many small children as an excuse for not spending quality time in God's Word on a daily basis. I KNOW how easy it is to convince myself that there is not a moment left in my day after wiping noses and feeding everyone from the time the sun rises until it sets. But the truth of it all is that I am in desperate need of the strength and wisdom that His Word provides as I am trying to make it through each of my days... NOTHING else is more important than soaking up His Word! Nothing!!! No conversation, no task, no cleaning project, no grocery shopping... NOTHING! We must determine to train our small children through our ACTIONS, showing them that time in the Word is VITAL to our daily lives. At this point in my life, mornings are usually the time that I find myself spending time in the Word before the kids get up. The other day Siah woke up at the crack of dawn and I was tempted to just stop doing my study and tend to him. But instead I explained to him that I was reading my Bible and that I needed that time in the morning to spend with God so that I could have the strength and wisdom I needed to make it through the day. He said, "Ok Mom." Then I told him that if he was going to be up and out of his bed he to could spend time reading his Bible and if he didn't want to do that he was welcome to go back to his bed and lie down until I was done with my study and I came to get him. He chose to read his Bible. He sat right next to me at the kitchen table and flipped through his Bible for almost 30 minutes. He tried to talk to me a few times, to which I just gently reminded him that although I love listening to him and answering his questions about the Bible, that now was a time for Mommy to spend quietly before the Lord and I would be happy to answer his questions when I was done with my study. And he went with it.
It takes effort... but the effort is worth putting forth!
There are so many other things that I can see Falling out of my life...
My anger is falling,
My desire for stuff is falling,
My doubt is falling,
My joy is increasing,
My understanding of unconditional love is increasing,
My contentment in this life is increasing...
In so many ways, the move out here to Kansas Land, has caused me to Fall in love all over again with life, with my children, with my husband, and above all, with my Jesus! It's the deep, deep realization that, before even time began, He first fell in love with me.