I have been craving everything that my body most certainly does NOT need these past few weeks... cookies, candy, ice cream, more cookies... you know, all that stuff that not only causes my belly to grow but my legs, my bum, my arms and sometimes it even feels like my lips and my ears might be growing as well. I've been trying my best to limit myself to one of these amazingly fabulous sweet treats per day... and of course I am still drinking that oh-so-lovely iced tea that I just can't seem to get enough of either.... Sometimes I am successful and other times, quite honestly, I am not.
My food cravings might not be the best right now, but another thing that I have been craving so much more since we moved out to Kansas land is a craving that I have been joyfully giving into. I have had this longing for God's Word like I haven't had in many years. I have been trying to memorize scripture in every possible extra moment that I have. I've been carrying around these scripture cards that my lovely friend Tara made for me awhile back. (By the way, you can buy these amazing scripture cards, in several different designs on her website @ zaocards.com
Anyways, there is something about God's Word that never runs dry. I have read several of the same passages countless times throughout my life and yet, lately, as I read the words on the pages it's been like opening a gift that I've never ever seen before. The words on the pages of my Bible have brought so much life to my soul, so much truth to my circumstances, so much encouragement to my days. I've been challenged in the way that I see things like my children, my purpose, my decisions. It's changed the things that are important to my heart and given me a different point of view on my lot in this life.
I haven't necessarily been craving answers to certain situations but rather just craving the Lord Himself. He is magnificent, full of hope and grace... and yet His Word is full of things that confuse me and cause me to question. I have been doing a Beth Moore Study that is taking me through 1 and 2 Samuel. There is a lot of crazy stuff that happens in those two books of the Bible. One minute David is obeying God, the next minute he's off doing his own thing... Wait a minute... maybe that's not really that odd after all since it sounds like a pretty accurate description of my own life... One minute my actions portray my love for my Savior and in the next moment it seems that I have forgotten even His great love for me. I'm glad to know that even in his mistakes, the Lord still called David, "a man after his own heart."
I have found rest in Psalm 91:1 "He who dwells in the shelter of the Most High will rest in the shadow of the Almighty." ... Almost every afternoon I have been taking a nap and I have been finding myself repeating this verse over and over again in my head as I fall asleep. It has made my afternoons literally peaceful.
I have seen the Lord's faithfulness in Psalm 141:3 and Proverbs 29:11 when it comes to my children and my husband... the four people on earth that I feel like I can be most myself around... "Set a guard over my mouth O Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips." And, "A fool gives full vent to his anger, but a wise man keeps himself under control." I love that the Lord gives me His Word so that I know how to specifically pray through my struggles. He is soo incredibly faithful to remove the things in us that are yucky and to replace those things with what is lovely and worthy of praise. (Philippians 4:8)
I have watched the Lord grow my children as I have prayed specific scriptures over them. I have been praying that Josiah would grow into a helpful, gentle, kind and loving leader in our home, towards his Papa and I and his sisters. With the new baby coming and our oldest treasure only being the ripe old age of 5, it would be such a blessing to have a little bit more help with things around the house... In the past week, out of the blue Siah has begun to take initiative in so many things. I shared some of those things in my last post. At dinner tonight Halee asked Siah if he wanted to play with her after dinner and he responded with, "Sorry, I can't. I have a lot of work to do first. I have to clear the table, wash the dishes, and vacuum up the crumbs off the floor." We have never told him that he has to do any of those things... but sure enough, after dinner... he did all of the above without a word from Papa or Mama. God is faithful! We have been praying the qualities of good leadership from 1 Timothy 3 over Josiah... things like being, "sober-minded, self-controlled, respectable, hospitable, not violent but gentle, not quarrelsome..." And even in his five-year-old life, I can see the Lord already beginning to mold these things into our little guy...
Some cravings aren't always that helpful for the soul, like processed, store-bought cookies or handfuls of chocolate candies. But a deep, genuine, God-given craving for the Word of God has satisfied me more than I ever thought I could be satisfied. The Sweet love of Jesus will do that to a girl, ya know! :)