Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Shocked At Being Content

I know that I have been a major slacker on posting since we moved in last Thursday. But we have finally settled in a little bit around here and I hope to take some video soon of our new "Little house on the prairie", as Adam calls it. And quite frankly his description is pretty accurate. From our front porch we have a beautiful view of the mountains... but from our back porch... well... we might as well of moved to Kansas.

It's pretty. But it's windy, there are tumble weeds flying everywhere. It's flat plains for as far as the eye can see. There is a Super Walmart down the street which is nice. And almost everything else is within a 15 minute's drive.

Although there have been a lot of adjustments in moving to Colorado, truth be told, I am totally shocked by the peace and joy that I have felt since I've been here. My thought is that it must simply be the Holy Spirit at work in my heart and life. Because, trust me, I could NEVER muster this kind of peace up on my own. The circumstances surrounding this move probably seem crazy to most... moving across the country to a city that I have never actually been too, with three small children, while 24 weeks pregnant with a forth treasure, all while trusting the Lord to provide a roof over our head and food for our table... not to mention health insurance and a doctor for this pregnancy, along with a doctor for our kiddos. Not much about this move seems completely logical... And yet everything about it thus far has been so right.

There are countless details that the Lord has so intricately taken care of along this journey. He has left no stone unturned. Nothing has been too minor that the Lord has ceased to care. In CA, when people would ask why we were moving to Colorado I usually responded with a truly confused, "I don't know." But as time has passed and things here are starting to unfold I feel like there are lots of reasons why we moved here.

Six years ago when we lost our twins the Lord used that time in my life to grow this tremendous trust and respect for Joey in our marriage. And now, this journey to CO has increased my trust in Joey once more. I feel like our marriage is in a great place, which is actually kind of odd to me because when Joey asked me to move out here I felt like he was asking me to give up all my security, which initially made me feel angry and scared. Why on earth would I want to move so far away from family, some of the most amazingly godly friends that I have ever had, and an incredible church family, right before I am due to have our forth child, to a place where he doesn't technically have a consistent income? But the thing is, there is nothing secure about this earth. No matter where Joey and I go or what we do, I should never be so foolish as to think that my circumstances, my friends, my family, or even my Joey could ever be the source of my security. The Lord alone is my security. He is the only thing in my life that has never changed and that never will change. He's the true definition of what it means to be steadfast. He's good on His promises and he promises that he will NEVER leave me or forsake me. And if that's the case, then I can be confident that He'll be with me whether or not I am in CA or CO.

In the past two weeks God has provided every last penny that we have needed to make this move without going into an ounce of debt. He has provided the perfect, cozy little home for our family right next door to some of our greatest friends in the whole world. He has provided a church body who have made us feel like family without even really knowing us very well. This morning in less than two hours, He provided a doctor for me for this pregnancy and health coverage for me and the kids that is incredibly affordable for our family. He has even provided friendship even though we have only been here for six days. We have everything we need and so much more.

It was my sweet Hal's birthday on Easter Sunday and even though we were hundreds of miles away from close friends, she was showered with love everywhere we went. We took her to donuts in the morning like we do every year for each kid on their birthday. Then we went to my precious friend Brooke's house who lives in Denver and they sang to her not once, but twice and we had cupcakes (that I had made that were so horrible that each kid took a bite and then politely said they were done. Then my sweet, very honest Siah whispered in my ear, "Mom, those cupcakes are really bad. I don't wanna eat anymore thank you." :) Then we went to Tara's Dad's house and there she got gifts and they sang to her again.

Like I said, the Lord has blessed us in every detail.

But... Things are not perfect out here. Our house has a lot of annoying little things that need to be fixed. I miss the comforts of knowing how to get around without having to use the map feature on my phone. It's cold and windy and I miss the gorgeous summer days that pop up even in the middle of winter in San DIego. But in the midst of the not-so-perfect, I truly feel content.

I'm looking forward to what God has for me here. I pray that our marriage, our parenting, and most importantly, our love relationship with our Savior will be so genuine and so real that those whom we get to know while here in the Springs would see God's glory through our lives. No matter where we are or what we're doing, Lord, may you receive glory and honor and praise through the way that the Clark family lives their lives.

Looking forward to Your plan for the rest of my life. :)