Friday, March 29, 2013

Thoughts On A Good Friday

It's Good Friday. I think it should be this great spiritual experience but I don't even really know what that means. I know it's the day that we as Christians remember that Christ died for us. I read the story again this morning from Luke. What I want to know is why I am not moved to tears when I think about what Christ has done for me. I talk about Him all the time to my kids, to friends. I talk about Him like He's the most important thing on earth, but if I'm honest, I'm not moved by Him and all that He has done. Or maybe I am but it simply doesn't come out in emotion like I think it ought. Can you be genuinely moved by something and still be sitting perfectly still under the covers in your bed and wondering why you've committed your entire life to something? Is an emotional response the only evidence of true faith? Or is it really no evidence at all?

It's Good Friday and I want to celebrate what Christ has done. I want to find gratitude and even joy in the fact that my sins have been taken care of because of what Christ did on this day, for me, for an entire broken world. I never want to forget what an incredible rescue mission Jesus and His Father perfectly planned so that our sins would no longer separate us from our creator. 

Last night in small group we talked about fasting.There's another thing about the very faith that I claim that I truly know very little about. I get it's purpose but I so rarely chose it. It begins with an admitting of little gods in my life. And I know what they are but I so rarely face them. I just keep trudging along in my daily to-dos, staying stuck in things that I just don't want to take the time to shake, or maybe more honestly, I don't want the Spirit to do the hard work in me that I know it will take to mold those things out. 

I know the main thing that gets me every day of my life is my desire to control everything... in other words, my pride. It's what causes the daily breakdowns between me and my children. It's the central cause of strife in our home and I hate it. But clearly I don't hate it enough to do anything about it. 

Why am I training these children anyways? Is it so that they can appear "good" to our little world and all the folks that witness the ins and outs of our daily family life? Or is it that they might know their Jesus better? If I were still trying to please man, I would not be a servant of Christ! (Galatians 1:10) But oh how I live to please man! Oh how I discipline out of shear annoyance and prideful frustration. 

Why do they call Good Friday, "Good" anyways? I think I'm beginning to understand a little bit. And it's nothing profound. It's simply that without this day, without this beyond-words-sacrifice of my sweet sweet Jesus, I would be left forever wanting and never seeing. It's Good because His willingness is what made it good.  Because of this day, this sacrifice, I am not who I want to be, but I am no where near who I once was.

Today is Good Friday and I feel like I should be doing something to make it all spiritual or something. But in the early hours this morning as I read the words that describe that great day, it's never going to be about what kind of spiritual experience I can create for myself or my family on a Friday in March, 2013 years after the fact that He has already done it all. I will never be able to "create" what He has already done.

So today, in whatever He sees fit to bring, I will praise Him with a grateful heart. A deep, deep gratitude, for the very thought that He would want to be with me to the point of giving His absolute all. 

Today, I'll remember that the hardest days are often times the best days. That the fruit of pain can often be the sweetest fruit. That to lose everything is really great gain. That Jesus loves you and me with one selfless, extravagant love. 

Happy Good Friday...The sting before the greatest joy man has EVER been able to know. 

{Resurrection Eggs.... you can make them yourself here. It's such a fun way to teach the treasures about all that their Jesus went through, that they might know Him and His extravagant love for them. :) This year the treasures had a lovely idea to make a few extras and deliver them to some friends so they too could jump into the fun.  :)}