Friday, August 3, 2012

When Trying To Decide

Decisions are constant.

Over the years I've found that these three questions have helped me in my own decision-making process...

1. Am I, to the absolute best of my knowledge, in sync with the Word of God? 
The Lord is NOT going to "okay" me doing something, if that something contradicts His Word. No matter what.

2. Are the Cowboy and I united?
I have found over the years that if the Cowboy and I are not on the same page about something, it's often times not something worth doing.

3. Will this "something" be a blessing or a burden to our family?
It sounds obvious, but every family flourishes in different ways. Our life out here on the farm is a simple one. Over-activity does not bless our family. We say no to a lot of things knowing that our marriage and our parenting flourish in simplicity.

I've struggled over the years to be confident in who we are.
I'm thankful for the Cowboy and the way he reminds me that I'm called to please an audience of One. (Galatians 1:10) 
I'm thankful that he reminds me that "sitting on the porch with my man," is a sufficient reason to say no.
I'm thankful for his gracious reminders that not all families are the same, that there's freedom in Christ for us all to flourish in the individual gifts that He's given each of us.

It's taken years, and it's not that there still aren't days when insecurity creeps in, but now that I know who He's made this little farm family to be, my decision making life has gotten a lot easier.

And although the Lord is building up my confidence in who we are, there are still these mountains of life-lessons that need learning in this heart of mine. I've been learning one such lesson as of late.

Sometimes I find myself reading things that inspire me, things that rise up emotion in me, things that resonate so deeply with my own passions. I can get a little fired up sometimes and find myself forgetting that when the Lord is speaking to me about something, it does not mean that He is speaking to everyone about that same thing.

There are many things in His Word that are commands to every human being on the face of the planet (do not murder, do not lie, love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul and mind and love your neighbor as yourself; these sorts of things. :) But then there are the things that the Holy Spirit is constantly working out in each of us. While some are being called to slow things down, other's are being called to step out and step up.  We're all in different places with different strengths and weaknesses at different times in our lives, but He is able to use each of us right where we are, and all for His glory.

I've been going through the book of James... And the part that says, "Be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry," has been playing itself over and over and over again in my mind. Sometimes I wonder if there's a reason that "quick to listen" comes first? The things that the Lord is implanting in me right now are meant to be a part of my own sanctification process. But sometimes I get so excited about what He's showing me that I assume everyone else needs to hear all about it.

Beth says it eloquently, and the Holy Spirit has surely used her words to convict (not condemn) me...

"God reminds us that He didn't plant His Word in us just so we could divert it towards someone else's conviction or deliverance. That's true even when we have righteous indignation. We need humility to receive a word from God down into the soil of our humanity. We tend to take God's message to us and hang it around someone else's neck, but it's first target was our own soul."

I must confess how guilty I can be of this. He's called our family to live in CO, to protect our family time, to home school, to invite our neighbors over, to open our home and to love on those whom He brings into our home. That's where we are today. It was different two years ago. It will be different two years from now.

I"m learning to choose to listen when I feel this crazy urge to vomit out all the things that I currently feel passionate about as if we all have the same convictions.

I'm growing, but I'm no where near mature.

My heart's desire is to keep my intimate relationship with my Savior intimate. I'm working on learning to listen longer before I speak. 

Always in the learning, and so thankful for grace.

 Yes, for His sweet, sweet grace