Monday, September 26, 2011

Evicting Fear



"Dirty Girls"...
It's an odd title in my opinion...
One you might not wanna Google... {weak smile}

But despite names, I pay the fee, and spend a few months gathering up some courage.
I'm not like some girls. I don't run half marathons in the free hours... I'd rather read a book and eat a brownie.

But the past few years of this life of mine I've let a sense of fear rent a room in my soul and it's made me a wee bit weary...

To be honest it's kinda crushed any thoughts of being brave... brave in the big and in the small.

And the only way to overcome such silliness is to just go for it.




So With eyes wide open, and fear ruthlessly evicted, I do just that, and I believe that I really am able to do all things through Christ who gives me strength. I mean really... I am able.

So I signed up for that race with that not so great name, and a bunch of girls from the place where we do church inspire, join in and cheer on this anxious girl.

I'm the last to arrive at the check in line. The Cowboy so graciously accompanies me and the kids are at their favorite place away from home with our treasure friends that live across the farm... Thanks T! :)







There's gals there in crazy attire and I've borrowed the cowboy's spandex shorts (yes, the Cowboy owns a pair of spandex shorts {big smile :}) and I'm grateful that the team decided to wear the one color that comforts me... black.

When I catch up with the group, this overwhelming flood of gratitude washes over me. Gratitude for so many of the women standing there in their pink headbands and smiles. Women who have done life with me since I moved to this small town not to long ago. Women who have come around me in so many ways.





And here I am again, attempting to face something that just wants to paralyze me. And here they are again, living love towards me. One promises to stick with me no matter the pace... And she does... the whole way. (Thank you A__) They all know how much I dislike feeling dirty and they laugh.

So I go for it, and you know what I find? I find that there is nothing to be afraid of. I find that the very thing that I'm afraid of is actually a doorway into much joy. I just needed the Lord to help me muster up the courage to actually open the door and take those first few steps through.

In the middle of the course we come upon the first "muddy" obstacle and all the girls covered in mud decide that it would be a splendid idea to surround me in a giant MUDDY hug. Kindness at it's peek. :)








We did the whole course in just about an hour.
It was easy and fun.

But above all else, it was one more baby step for this sometimes timid farm girl, in Leaving Comfort for Courage.

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#652-662
Driving home in his beat up, 20-year-old truck... dirt roads and country music the whole way...
Friends who know the deep fears and walk close beside...
The dancing girl's thoughts on Papa's grilled vegetables...
Anticipating a precious friend's first little treasure...
Talking with the Cowboy in the kitchen, us both pretending like we couldn't hear the ruckus going on in the next room, a pile of kids simply being kids....
Accountability, prayer, friendship late into a Monday night...
Grace for the messy days...
Eating Fall fun with the treasures on a blanket, with a new favorite book...
My Dad on the other end of the line, confirming dates for a visit to the Farm...
Courage, bravery...
A God with love so great, He casts out all fears...