Abiding Mom

Awhile back I came across this chart at this site...

It has given me such perspective, the kind that I long for and strive for, the kind that resonates and wants to linger, that kind that is welcome to get comfortable in our home.

Super Mom	Abiding Mom
Does	Is (Psalm 46:10)
Tries to impress others	Pleases the Lord (Eph. 5:10,Proverbs 29:25)
Is controlled by an agenda(curriculum, schedule, etc)	Is controlled by the Holy Spirit: (Gal. 5:22-26) (Uses curriculum & schedules as tools for orderliness so she’s more free to follow the spirit)
Her self worth is found in her accomplishments (clean house, perfect kids, the perfect bulletin boards, etc.)	Her self worth is found in an accurate view of who she is in Christ Jesus (Eph 2:10)
Her peace is found in the “perfect” environment	Her peace is found in Jesus in the midst of any storm (Is 26:3)
She is discouraged by failure	Failure reminds her that God’s strength is made perfect in weakness (2 Cor. 12:9-10)
She expects perfection from herself and others	She practices grace with herself and others (Eph 4:32)
She teaches her kids to be good	She teaches her kids to be Godly (Proverbs 22:6)
She is frustrated with her lack of spiritual fruit	She abides in Christ and bears much fruit (John 15:5)
She does things with her children	She builds a relationship with her children (Deut 6:6-7)
Her perspective is based on what is seen	Her perspective is based on what is unseen (Col 3:2)
She chooses quantity of activities	She chooses the most excellent Way (I Cor 13)

A few that are encouraging my heart right now are the Abiding Mom who practices grace with herself and others... It is easy for me to practice grace with others, but not always easy to practice that same grace with myself.

And the second one making its home in this heart of mine is that the abiding mom chooses the most excellent way, verses a quantity of activities. My two oldest treasures are now school age and I am constantly questioning whether or not they need to be in ballet or soccer, or both, or what not. And I get wrapped up in the social talk of "socializing our kids" and giving them a plethora of opportunities.

But in that same breath I've been thinking about what I really want to give my kids. What do I hope them to think upon when they're grown. And I'm thinking at this stage in the game, for us, I'd like them to remember the days they spent in our back yard playing baseball with their siblings and the neighbors. I'd like them to remember the hours we spent reading books in the treehouse together. The afternoons of riding faster and faster down our long dirt driveway on their bikes. I'd like them to remember the calm Mom who wasn't in a hurry to get them from place to place but who actually spent her time spending time with them.

There is nothing wrong with activities, but there is much wisdom in not being in a hurry to follow suit with the world in training our treasures to be life long busy-bodies. There's something innocent and attractive about the natural simplicities that life offers without much effort on our part. The wonder of peppers grown in our own yard. The consistency of the the stars flooding the sky every evening after the sun goes down. The sense of healthy pride that overcomes a child when they finally learn to pedal that bike on their own. No money spent... just a willingness to wake up in wonder of Him and whatever He might have the day.

I'd like to learn the first one on the list above... I'd love to give my kids the gift of being a mom who is content simply being, rather than constantly feeling the need to do.

I was at a tupperware party the other night and I had the honor of talking with a woman whose children are fully grown. As we chatted about motherhood, she said something that I will never forget. She said that if she could do it all over again, she would care less about the ways of the world and more about the ways of God.

In this season of my life, my ears are perked up, listening intently for whatever godly wisdom He wants to send my way through older women who have walked before me.

Lord, could you, over the years, mold me into an abiding mom, one who abides in you and bears much fruit?

If you'd like a printable copy of this lovely chart you can get one here...