He Makes Me Laugh

I was reviewing some site words with Siah yesterday. We came up to the word A-L-L. He stared at it... moved in a little closer... Read the letters out loud and said, "A-L-L... hmmmmmm? That spells HELL. Why is Hell one of my site words Mom?" :)

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At dinner one night this week, we all sat down, Siah surveyed the meal and said,

"Mom, looks like you did a good job making dinner tonight."

"Thanks bud."

"Well, what I mean is, you did a good job not burning it."

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Haha! This kid makes me laugh!

The Wedding Dress

It's moving week... yet again...

We're going through the boxes in the garage... they've been there for six months and we haven't touched them. Do we really need the things hidden inside?

One such box holds my wedding dress. I got a little self-esteem boost today when I pulled out the long white dress and with some help from my neighbor was able to still zip it up. I couldn't breath very well once it was zipped... but still.. Ten years and seven babies later... Wouldn't it bring a smile to your face and put a little pep in your step??

Anyways, before I changed back into my regular clothes, I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror. Gray hair glimmering in between the black strands, faint indentations (better known as wrinkles :) beginning to form around my very tired Mommy eyes... that loose flap of skin shifting back and forth under my arm that was so not there ten years ago when I first wore my snow white gown.

But as I looked in the mirror the odd thing was that I wasn't even so concerned with the physical things that have changed... I was thinking about my heart. I was thinking about the way it had changed over the years. Or maybe more accurately, I was thinking about the ways that it had stayed the same. As I stood there in that BEAUTIFUL dress I was thinking about this verse that was talked about at a Bible study last week. I was desperately trying to let it all soak in... the words... the life giving truth that one of my favorite friends that I've met out here spoke into my life a few nights ago. I heard what she said... I wanted to believe it... but like so many things, believing with a genuine heart is so much easier said than done.

Those words....

"But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, a people belonging to God, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light..." She read from The Word. She continued, "This is what He thinks of you... this is what He calls you. Let it sink in, and believe it."

Why is it that ten years later, some things about my heart are still exactly the same? Why do I allow my mind to choose to focus on my sin, rather than on the freedom that the Lord wants to offer me? Ten years later, the questions still remain...

I often wonder...

How is it that He sees me white as snow? How is it that he can freely forgive someone with a heart like mine? How is it that HE, the King of Kings, the most perfect, flawless, heavenly Father, The creator of all things, the Beginning and the End, the Most High... wants to call me, Kacy Nicole Clark, His daughter? Who am I that He would know my name, better yet call me His Very Own?

You would think that after all these years of being a christian, I would have grasped it. You would think that I would know that YES, I am a Royal Priesthood, I BELONG to God Himself.

The truth is that I still don't get it...

The truth is that more often than not I still don't believe it...

The truth is that it is really hard for me to believe things that I don't fully understand.

But above all my doubts stand firm MUCH greater truths.

The truth is... that no matter how much I lack understanding, if He declares it, then plain and simple, it is true. HE CALLS ME HIS OWN, therefore, I AM His own. He declares me righteous, therefore, I am righteous in His sight. He calls me his daughter, therefore, that is exactly what I am.

On the night of our wedding my Joey did something amazing. To this day it has been a tangible reminder to me of the tender, patient way that the Lord cherishes his daughters and loves on them with nothing less than an extravagant sort of love...

On the night of our wedding I came out the bathroom in hysterics. I was freaked out to say the least. Joey was my first everything... first boyfriend, first kiss, first..well, you get the picture. As I tried to explain to my Joey through my chopped up words why I was such a basket case, He sat me down on the bed and did something totally unexpected. He put his hands on each side of my head, then leaned in and gave me a kiss on each of my eyes. He thanked the Lord for my eyes and for how He had made my them just for my Joey. He moved onto my lips, then my ears. From the top of my head to the tip of my toes, He graciously, gently and genuinely thanked the Lord for each and every part. He thanked the Lord for the great gift that He had given him in allowing me to be his bride. He thanked the Lord for the life that we were going to live together, for the good, the bad, the joy, the sadness, the pretty and the ugly! In that single hour I not only felt loved, I knew love. And not a superficial, fleeting love, but instead a deep-intimate life long sort of love. Through his prayers, I knew that my Joey was choosing me. He didn't have to commit to loving me for forever, but he chose to do so.

In our ten years of marriage, I will admit that I have not always felt in love, but I am certain that no matter what circumstances may come our way, both Joey and I will always choose love, despite what we may or may not feel.

And so it is the same with my Jesus... I may not always feel that what He says is true, BUT

In the meantime... I will choose to believe what I do not fully understand... I will choose to see myself standing before Him in my pure, snow-white, extravagant dress and cherish His still small voice whispering in my ear, as He calls me His bride.

Another Week

“The purpose of my instruction is
that all believers would be filled with
love
that comes from a pure heart,
a clear conscience,
and a genuine faith.”
~1 Tim. 1:5
Lord, there it is: the point of my instruction in this home.
Love.
And Love can only come from
You!
Will You instruct me on how to instruct them in what the purpose of this living really is:
to be filled with Christ-love.
So we might be known as Your disciples.

Another week is starting... Oh how I need your strength Lord!!

The Patch

Yesterday was Siah's first school field trip! The whole family (minus Papa) got to come... and it was such a treat! It was the first trip to The Patch, since I can remember that it has actually felt like Fall. Most years we have spent our time hunting for pumpkins at Bates Nut Farm in sunny, sweltering hot, CA. Each year we would try to dress the treasures in long sleeves, complimenting Fall colors, the whole sha-bang! And for what??? Every year we would end up sweating to death and spending an atrocious $5 a bottle for water, simply out of desperation for some relief from the heat.

BUT THIS YEAR... Oh what a glorious year this was at the pumpkin patch!!! The air was cool and brisk. The Patch was rustic and nothing but FUN! There were mazes to be conquered, mini pumpkins to be launched, massive slides to be swept away on, and large tubs overflowing with popcorn kernels that brought out the belly laughter in our many small children!! I had the best time spending the day with our precious treasures!!!

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We started out at the hay maze....

And then....

Everyone was able to try... Even Reesie Piece!!!!

Off to the hay stack pyramid for a few photos....

My photo shoot was VERY short lived... No prob bob... we'll just move onto the next thing...

This is Siah's friend Teddy from his little class... One of the blessing of the day was that I got to meet so many new moms. TO be honest I was a little intimidated and quite nervous to go on the field trip. It's been many years since I have gone somewhere like this with my kids and not known ONE SINGLE person. The whole drive there I prayed that the Lord would use me in some way to bring him glory throughout our time there... even if the only way that I could be a witness was through the way that I loved on and treated my children while we were there. But of course the Lord had plans for me way beyond any expectations that I could have mustered up on my own. On the tractor ride I was able to share all the things that the Lord has done in my life in the past five years with this precious mom... and by the end of our conversation she was in joyful tears and she encouraged me that the Lord had used my story to really challenge her to go home and be a whole different kind of mother to her FIVE young children! God is so good. Just when we think our lives might be nothing more than plain old ordinary, he so graciously steps in and reminds us that he has nothing less than EXTRAordinary for us... if only we would ask! I was blessed on that tractor ride!!!

Siah's class gathered on an old flatbed trailer and some itchy-scratchy hay bails to eat lunch together...

Little Jed woke up during lunch and I took him out of his carseat and laid him on his cozy comfort silkie balnket so that all the kiddos in Siah's class could chat with him... The little girls were so cute... tickling him and telling him over and over again in their squeaky little voices, "you're so cute!"

At this stage in the game his eyes really are this blue... :)

Extremely handsome brothers!!!!

We headed out to the slides....

The kids LOVED the tractor ride... On the "trip" we saw a fox and some wild horses...

One of Siah's teachers was so kind to hold Jed while I helped Reesie get down the slide...

There was also a cute little petting zoo.... Halee was dying to hold the rabbit but to her dismay she was not allowed... so she settled for petting it for several long minutes until the it's owner finally, gently told her that the other kids needed a turn too.

So she moved on to gathering oodles and oodles of hay to feed the already FAT sheep.

Finally, the pools of corn kernels...

And on our way out each kiddo got a free little pumpkin! What a deal! :)

We stuck the pumpkins on the stroller...

Dusted off our boots...

Tried desperately to get the hay off our jackets...

Loaded up the troops and headed to Lowes to buy paint for the girls room.

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Today our friend Kim is coming over to hang out with our treasures so that I can go to the farm and paint. We are supposed to be moving in net weekend... Next week the painter is coming to paint a few of the main rooms in each of our houses... The carpet should be going in next friday... And then we should be able to move in... We'll still have a whole slew of projects that we can get done sometime over the next ten years!!! But things are coming together and that's exciting!!!!

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I have a Fall soup recipe that I made the other day that I would love to share... I hope to post it sooner than later... so keep an eye out... cuz it is absolutely yummy!!!!!