I know that some, maybe most, pregnant women like to wait until they are in the safe zone to share with the world that there is life in their tummy... But not me! :) When there is a treasure in my tummy, I want the entire world to know that the Lord has blessed us... if even for a short time! :)
Soooo, As of yesterday we have another treasure in our hearts.
I took a test alone in my bathroom and as the two pink lines filled the little plastic screen my whole face lit up with an uncontrollable smile.
Followed by...
A floodgate of anxious tears.
The truth is that I physically feel much like I felt with our last pregnancy... in short, not good, not normal.
Which is the very reason that I am posting tonight.
I don't know yet... If we will get the blessing of meeting this baby on this earth.
I don't know yet... if we will have to let go yet another time.
I don't know yet... what the Lord's plans are for growing our little family.
And tonight as I laid here thinking about what God has up his sleeve this time around, I read this verse...
"I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4
You wanna know what I am really afraid of?
I'm afraid that I will have to give yet another treasure back to the Lord. I'm afraid that the reason I keep loosing them is because I'm not good enough to be a mother of four. (Not that I think I'm a bad mom... but maybe the Lord knows that three is my max???) I'm afraid that if we keep trying, we will keep having to say goodbye.
He hasn't promised me a certain amount of children... he hasn't promised me a life void of pain or trial...
But He has promised me this...
He will deliver me from all my fears!!! Not from the loss itself, but from the fear of the loss.
And from the fear of my own inadequacy.
Tonight, I am resting in the promise that I have been delivered from all my fears!
I am six weeks along and I don't know yet what the Lord has for us. I got some blood work done today to check my hormone levels to make sure that they are going up.
Could you pretty please join us in prayer? I know that there is power in people interceding on our behalf. No matter if we have only a few short weeks with this baby or many many years, let's love on it and fight fervently for it before the Lord!
Thank you Friends!!!!!
Soooo, As of yesterday we have another treasure in our hearts.
I took a test alone in my bathroom and as the two pink lines filled the little plastic screen my whole face lit up with an uncontrollable smile.
Followed by...
A floodgate of anxious tears.
The truth is that I physically feel much like I felt with our last pregnancy... in short, not good, not normal.
Which is the very reason that I am posting tonight.
I don't know yet... If we will get the blessing of meeting this baby on this earth.
I don't know yet... if we will have to let go yet another time.
I don't know yet... what the Lord's plans are for growing our little family.
And tonight as I laid here thinking about what God has up his sleeve this time around, I read this verse...
"I sought the LORD, and he answered me;
he delivered me from all my fears." Psalm 34:4
You wanna know what I am really afraid of?
I'm afraid that I will have to give yet another treasure back to the Lord. I'm afraid that the reason I keep loosing them is because I'm not good enough to be a mother of four. (Not that I think I'm a bad mom... but maybe the Lord knows that three is my max???) I'm afraid that if we keep trying, we will keep having to say goodbye.
He hasn't promised me a certain amount of children... he hasn't promised me a life void of pain or trial...
But He has promised me this...
He will deliver me from all my fears!!! Not from the loss itself, but from the fear of the loss.
And from the fear of my own inadequacy.
Tonight, I am resting in the promise that I have been delivered from all my fears!
I am six weeks along and I don't know yet what the Lord has for us. I got some blood work done today to check my hormone levels to make sure that they are going up.
Could you pretty please join us in prayer? I know that there is power in people interceding on our behalf. No matter if we have only a few short weeks with this baby or many many years, let's love on it and fight fervently for it before the Lord!
Thank you Friends!!!!!