Monday, August 17, 2009

I'm Pretty, Completely Sure...

I'm pretty completely sure that he loves us because each morning when he leaves for work he says goodbye and leaves the room to find his shoes... Then he comes back in and says goodbye and leaves the room to gather the things he needs for the day... Then he comes back in and kisses us all on the forehead, says goodbye and leaves the room to get that one thing that he forgot upstairs.... Then he comes back in and says goodbye and lingers a little bit.... He tells the kids that he loves them and asks them in a kind, pleading voice, "Be good for your Mama today? Obey her and bless her?"... Followed by another slew of goodbyes.

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I'm pretty completely sure that he loves me because late last night, in the dark of our room, he held my hand as I sobbed out my struggles, my insecurities, my passions and my longings. He reminded me that he could not fix it, but he prayed willingly over me.

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I'm pretty completely sure that he loves us because when I'm doing the dishes he comes up behind me and gives me a soft kiss on my neck. And our little treasures look on with their big bright eyes.
They put their hands over their mouths and giggle.
There is something about kissing that makes them feel funny inside. Part of them might think that kissing is yucky but something about their demeanor in the moment makes me think that they know there is something magical about the whole thing.

Then Siah inquires, "Papa, why you kiss mama?"

Papa responds, "Because I love your Mama very much... Because that's what a man does when he loves a woman."

Then they giggle some more and run off and play.
What a gift he has given me... what a gift he has given our children.


I am pretty completely sure...
That I'm in love...
And that I am loved...