Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Divine Romance

Tonight Joey went to a rap (yes rap :) show with some friends and the kids missed naps this afternoon so I was able to put them to bed early. I was actually grateful for the time alone on the evening on our final night in our home... My life with our MSC doesn't always give way to much solitude, so I must admit that I try to soak up and cherish whatever alone time I might get.

I was tempted to turn on the TV and fall asleep to American Idol (which there is nothing wrong with doing), but I had this feeling that the Lord had something better for me if I was only willing to give him a little of my time...

So I turned on the newest CD that Joey had downloaded for me a few days earlier and I got face down in the middle of my empty living room floor... and the moment that I got in that position the tears started to flow... First came confession... I don't know why I so often forget how freeing it is to just tell God all the things that I really feel about him, about my life, about my heart, and how it hurts, how it's anxious, how it longs for so much more of Him but how it so often wonders how little old me could be used in any significant way for his glory...

As I was talking to him through my tears, one of the songs on the CD in the background began to minister to me in a way that is so hard for me to put into words... I had opened my bible and started to read through Mathew but nothing really stood out to me. I began to wonder why on earth I was in tears on the floor in my living room... and as I laid there in my brokenness, I found myself pushing the repeat button to this song over and over and over again...

"The fullness of Your grace is here with me
The richness of Your beauty’s all I see
The brightness of Your glory has arrived
In Your presence God, I’m completely satisfied

For You I sing I dance
Rejoice in this divine romance
Lift my heart and my hands
To show my love, to show my love

A deep deep flood, an Ocean flows from You
Of deep deep love, yeah it’s filling up the room
Your innocent blood, has washed my guilty life
In Your presence God I’m completely satisfied"

"In your presence Lord, I am completely satisfied." I just kept singing it over and over again. "In your presence Lord, I am completely satisfied."

His presence is always available to me anytime that I choose to enter in. I have been a Christian all these years and I still struggle to remember that I am only completely satisfied when I am in His presence. Other things make me happy or cause me to feel great joy. But only in HIS presence have I ever felt completely satisfied!

After several minutes of listening to the song over and over again... I opened up my Bible again, and read through the account of Christ's death... When Jesus yielded up his spirit, "behold, the curtain in the temple was torn in two, from top to bottom!" There is such magnificence in this part of the story... I by no means claim to have a solid or complete understanding of this whole scene. But from what I understand, as long as the curtain was up in the temple only the holiest of religious leaders were able to go past the curtain. But Christ's death changed all that. Now ANYONE who believes that Jesus Christ is Lord can enter into his presence any time, any day, for any reason!

His presence is available to me here, on the floor of my empty living room...

But it is equally available to me in our new home...

It will be available to me every step of my life...

*****

As my kids sleep peacefully upstairs in their rooms for the last time,

I...


Sang at the top of my lungs, and I danced in complete abandonment! (I twirled my heart out!!!) Just me and my Jesus alone in my living room. It was divinely romantic to say the least!
"For You I sing I dance"

My heart freely rejoiced in this divine romance that I have with my heavenly Father!
Rejoice in this divine romance"

The weight that my heart has been carrying was lifted and I put my arms up as high as I possibly could...
"Lift my heart and my hands"

to show my God my great great love for Him!
"To show my love, to show my love"

Even in the most trying of times He is passionately pursuing us...

How divinely romantic is that?

During this next season I will choose to REJOICE IN THIS DIVINE ROMANCE!

Blessing Upon Blessing...
PS I put a play list at the bottom of my blog and the first song on it is "Divine Romance"