Friday, September 28, 2012

Her, Triumphant

On a cool summer night in September she asked her Papa if he would teach her.



She put on the neighbor's helmet, the one that is three sizes too big for her head, and she threw her scrawny little leg confidently over that seat. It's the same bike that the two older ones started on not to long ago.

It didn't take long.

A little encouragement.

A whole family lined up along the dirt road, cheering out her name...

"GO REESIE!!! YOU CAN DO IT!"

Then a  few falls.

And before she knew it....




She was off!!

Riding a bike, ALL BY HERSELF!



Her sister was so proud of her, she ran inside and "made" her, her very own trophy. (Who needs to fork out 80 bucks for Little League when you've got a sister who can whip you up a trophy in 5 minutes flat? :)


Triumphant! 


That we get to witness their joys...
What pure GIFT! 

Thursday, September 27, 2012

How They've Blessed Me Lately


<*>The Charmer currently walks around the house and says it like a broken record,
"I cute face! I cute face!"

His other currents phrases are,
"What tat fo?"
"Fo me??"
"I cute face!"
"I farted" (The older kids have been teaching him this one. He says it clear as day. They say it, he repeats it, and then there are four treasures laughing wildly on the floor. Wow, do we run a mature household here or what?)
"I eat brefas?"
"SNAAAAAAACK?"
And then again,
"I cute face."



<*> I just might have been a little flustered this morning because I couldn't get the fire started in the pellet stove and I couldn't figure out how to explain a plethora of things to my Siah while we were attempting to do school, and tears just might have made their way down my cheeks right there on the living room floor. (I know, wildly surprising... geezaloo! Maybe some day I won't cry so much?) And my Spunky Girl, she crawled up next to me and looked right into my eyes, "Mama, I'm gonna pray for you right now. I can see that you're sad. You need some Jesus help don't you?" And then she prayed over me a prayer that I'm confident I had no idea how to pray until I was at least 25 years old. This girl's got the Spirit in her. I'm sooo grateful!

<*>That same Spunky Girl can now spell her name all by herself! Woohoo!!

<*>The kids have been cracking me up with the funny things they say...
On our way to Costco Siah wants to know, "Is it a sin to roll down our windows?" {Smile}

Or my other favorite comment by the same curious mind,
"I can picture where we live, in my face, but I couldn't tell you how to get there." {Double smile; the thought that we might think with our faces instead of our minds... gotta love it... gotta love this kid! :)}




<*> The Dancing Girl is also known around here as the endless artist. I think we might go through at least 50 plain white sheets of paper a day with this girl. She draws me pictures to my heart's content. :)

<*> Today Siah asked me if I could get him an alarm clock. I asked why he wanted one.
"So that I can set it for 5:30."
I asked why on earth he'd want to get up at that crazy hour in the morning?
"So I can have time to read my Bible just like Papa does every morning."

Now I know I tear up at almost every thing, but come on, who wouldn't find tears of joy over a comment like that coming out of a son's mouth?

<*> He's given them all helpful hearts, a desire to obey, and a love for one another. Our life here is messy, but these four little folks bless me beyond measure. :)

Thursday, September 20, 2012

Date Night With A Side Of Farm Fresh Eggs

There's really no such thing as "Date Night" around here. It's more like a last minute call to the neighbors, and a stop-off at the Big R for some much needed chicken food before heading to Back-to-school night where the treasures take their classes.

Time alone in the car is the current qualification for a "date."

And then there are the occasional bonus's like actually getting to go into a burger joint and sit in a booth and indulge in  thirty minutes of uninterrupted adult conversation.

The Cowboy and I, we each had a burger and fries and we shared a banana dream shake and we chatted about important things like the prices of cows vs. yaks.

Yes, it's true. My sand-covered, barefoot, burrito days are over and now me and the man I love chat it up about cows while scarfing down two truly savory beef patties with a side of some of the best fries on the planet.

What has happened to my life?

Then on the way home he plugs Pandora into the speakers and I couldn't help but say it out loud,

"Who on earth is this?"

"Waylan Jennings."

"Who?"

"Waylan. Don't you know good-old Waylan?"

"No idea who Waylan is."

"This is good stuff, eh?"

"Good I guess if you're missing a few front teeth and use a a piece of straw for a toothpick."

He laughs and then says it with such confidence...

"You know you love it."

And I can't keep from smiling, cuz the crazy truth is that I do love it... or at the very least, I love the Cowboy who loves it. :)

Date night ended with a kiss... or two... and my heart on cloud nine simply because I got to be with  him. :)

{... And if you're wondering what came about from the cow conversation, we decided to see if we can keep the chickens alive through the winter before we venture into raising 300lb animals. :) }

In other news,
* If I haven't already said it enough, I'm married to the man! We no longer have a giant hole in our roof and my bathroom now has recessed lighting! Woohoo!

* We now have a plethora of chicken eggs! Double-Woohoo! If you live near the farm and would like to enjoy yourself some truly delicious, free range, farm fresh eggs, we are now selling them for the low low price of $2 a dozen. These are truly the best eggs that I have ever eaten! So get'em while they're hot! :)

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

One Weak Flesh

 A lone suburban in a sea of mini-vans, a place otherwise known as carpool. I sat in the driver's seat and waited for our eldest to be done with the day's classes. The other three were eating a snack in the back seat and I connected my iphone into our car stereo and placed this song quietly on repeat.

Bathing myself in the much needed quiet moment I could feel the anger creeping in and rising up. It had been a rough day with the Dancing Girl. And the sad part is that she really didn't do anything wrong. In so many ways I am far from being a good teacher. I lack the very quality that is vital to pouring into the hearts of little ones. I lack patience.

It wasn't too long ago when a woman at church confessed it to me. She had said that our home-schooling, and my soft voice, and our little farm, and the simplicity of it all was a bit intimidating to her. And I told her right there and then, "Oh Honey, if only you would look through my windows on a typical day? What you would see is what you probably feel in your own home. That desire to be one thing but finding yourself being something completely different."

I may have a quiet voice, but I have a prideful heart. I want to be in control of my life. I thrive off of order and a clean house, and when I feel out of control that soft voice of mine flees and even though everything within me knows that what's making me feel angry in the moment isn't worth being angry about, I still find myself choosing anger.

So when the words keep repeating through the speakers,

"My flesh is weak,
But Your Spirit's strong in me.
My flesh may fail,
But my God You never will....

I find myself wanting to yell at Him.

I find myself wanting to shout it out, "THAT"S NOT TRUE, LORD."

Because today in my house, my flesh won. In fact Lord, my flesh wins on a lot of days. So how can it be that Your Spirit is strong in me when my flesh wins more than Your Spirit wins?

At 3:30 the carpool line starts to move and we pull up to the curb and My Siah hops in the car. All the kids jump right into a frenzy of swapping details of their days. (I love how much they miss each other on the one day that they're apart from each other each week.) They're all chatting and I'm on the edge of my seat wondering what the Dancing Girl just might say about the day we've had.

And when her brother asks, this is what she says...

"Mama yelled a lot, and I cried a lot. But we made it right, and we asked God for help, and Mama gave us a good snack to eat while we waited to pick you up."

Is that it Lord?

Is it not about perfection but rather the process?

Today was messy under the farmhouse roof. But like she said, "we made it right." We confessed and we asked for more help. And even though my memories of this day feel awful, she's moved on, and she's joy-filled, sitting in the back seat, happy about her snack.

I've read it a lot lately. That book of James, it's been this constant conviction in my life...

"Let patience have it's perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking nothing." (James 1:4)

Feeling a million miles from perfect these days, it turns out that the Greek word here for perfect means this: "that which has achieved or reached it's goal, objective, or purpose, and therefore full-grown, fully developed, and lacking nothing."

So really Lord, when You call us to be perfect, You're really calling us into a process? A life-long journey into Your likeness? "Not that I have already obtained all this, or have already arrived at my goal, but I press on to take hold of that for which Christ Jesus took hold of me." (Philippians 3:12)

That I might know You.

That is the goal.

Not that I would be perfect all along the way?

But that I would be willing to endure the journey?

That I would repetitively make it right when I am wrong?

That I would trust You with my whole heart and lean not on my own understanding? (Proverbs 3:5-6)

That I wouldn't quit when the days seem long, but that I would know in my heart of hearts that You are making all things beautiful in your time? (Ecclesiastes 3:11)

Okay Lord.

It's a new morning.

And this morning I'm willing to go through the process...

That I might know You more.

May Your Spirit be strong in me today as I pour into these treasures of yours.

May grace and kind words abound in this place.

The rest of the song goes like this,

"Give me faith
To trust what you say
That You're good
And Your love is great."

Lord, give me faith?

Please.



Sunday, September 16, 2012

Fall Is Here



We've lived in this place for nearly three years and I still have this fear that whenever we go outside everyone is going to freeze to death. And the bad news is, you can never really trust the weather man. It's nothing personal against him, it's just that the clouds in these-here-parts have a mind of their own. 
So on a Friday morning I put the treasures in long sleeves and boots, and I put a coat in the car for each of us just in case. 

When we pull in the gates of the Happy Apple Farm, I can feel my cheeks glowing. It's sunny and warm and my heart is bubbling over with simple joy. 

The simplicity of the county life can draw you in faster than you can say "chicken pot pie." 

When we get out of the car the kids don't even hesitate and they run up and down the endless rows of apple trees and they giggle and chase one another. They climb up as high as they can go and throw apples down to the friends below. 
Out here in the country, we don't have to micro-manage our kids play time, we simply open the front door and they run out into hours of innocent adventure. They can always find some extravagant way to entertain themselves because they know that if they ever tell this Mama that they're bored, there's a nice little list of chores hanging on the fridge that are always in need of getting done. 

This place is a gift to me and my family.  

That my kids get to grow up with these simple pleasures  is sheer gift.




































































Fall is here and joy is in the air! :)

Thursday, September 13, 2012

He's How We Do It

We've been doing school around here.

The thing with doing school at home is that life just weaves it's way through the school day.

Yesterday it rained all day here on the farm. I love the rain.

And in the middle of a lesson on how to spell two-syllable words, the Spunky girl walks into the bathroom and comes running out,

"FLOOD!!! Mama!!! FLOOD!!"

I go into the bathroom and sure enough the ground is soaked and the rain is dripping down, in from the sky light into our 100 year old bathroom.







So, in typical "wanna-be-a-farm-girl-but-I'm-so-not" fashion, I shut the door and call the Cowboy and pretend that the flood in the bathroom simply isn't happening, cuz I can't do anything about it in that moment. But what I can do in that moment is teach a fabulous lesson on how English words do not end in "i". :) And so I go for the latter. :)

That's our life here on the farm.

We jump from figuring out what on earth an inequality is, to watering the chickens... from reading books on the couch, to loading the dishwasher for the third time in a day.

I love how it's all seemingly one piece; how we do it all, all together.

This is only our third year of home schooling so I am well aware of the fact that I am far from being an expert. But there are a few things this that have come to pass over the past few years that have become an encouragement to my heart.

It's year three, and if I'm being completely honest with myself, it's the first year that doesn't feel completely awful and overwhelming. I think we've finally picked the right curriculum that works for us. I think I've figured out a few areas that I can let things go a little bit and not feel guilty. I think I'm finally starting to get a grip on what's important, on why we're doing this, on the logistics of doing the day-to-day.

And truthfully, so much of it is simply acceptance. Accepting what ever the day holds and not trying so hard to fight against it.

I have good expectations for our days here together. I have a list of subjects to work through, a list of chores to accomplish, a list of personal things that I'd love to partake in when the first two lists are complete. But some days just seem to take turns that I simply wasn't planning on taking.

The first two years of home schooling, I'd feel devastated on those days. I'd find myself in a funk. My tone would get sharp, the treasure's eyes would flood with tears and there were so many days that felt like a painful waste.

I know now that those days were anything but wasteful, because I'm finally catching a glimpse of what's really important.

It happened again just this morning and oddly, I found myself feeling grateful for the moment.

It was My Siah and I. We had just finished loading the dishwasher with the morning's dishes and I had said something to him about a writing assignment that we were going to work on today. He's in an attitude phase and has absolutely no hesitation in revealing his true thoughts to me about anything (which I love and hate all in the same breath). So I ask him to go to his room, and I tell him I'll be there in a minute to chat with him about his not so lovely tone.

When I get up there, he's wailing on his bed and he throws out a comment about how I don't understand him. I stand there quiet for a moment and before I  know it, I find myself confessing, "I'm so sorry that you feel that way. I WANT to understand. Could you please try and explain to me in a kind word?"

And then I listened.

I listened to him tell me his heart.

And to tell you the truth, I'm not sure if it's what he was saying or if it was the Holy Spirit translating his words for me in my own mind, or maybe even a combination of both, but by the end of the conversation, his shoulders and mine had softened and the two of us, we had an understanding of one another. He told me how he wished that I would respond to him when he talks with me. I heard him and affirmed him. Then I told him how I hoped that he would respond to me when I talk with him. He heard me and affirmed me.

(It's a seriously cool season to walk through with my kids. They mimick the way that I behave. They forgive the way that they see me forgiving. They encourage others with words that they hear out of my mouth towards them. They offer grace, and work hard, and problem solve, all in the ways that they see the Cowboy and I doing those things in our own lives. It's not really the things that we say that seem to sink in. Rather it's the ways that we live out all these details that I can see them picking up on.)

We left his room and joined the other kids in the living room, the place where we start all our days here on the farm the same...

always beginning with the only thing in life truly worthy of time...

we worship.

We sing and we dance and we acknowledge our constant need for the work of the One True God in our lives.

Then we pray. We ask God to not just join us in our day, but to COMPLETELY TAKE OVER.

And once that prayer has been prayed I've found that I have this tremendous peace about our days here. Because once that prayer is prayed, I have no doubt that He carefully holds each of my moments, hand-picking His absolute best for me all-day-long, because worship is something that can always be happening. It's not just a song or a prayer; it's a constant resting assurance that all is well because He is alive and well.

Some days very little gets crossed off the lists.

Some days the treasures and I have a lot of hard conversations (often times seemingly very repetitive conversations) about life and God and the way we long to treat each other under this farm house roof.

Some days there's a lot of laughter.

Some days there's a lot of tears.

Some days I simply cannot see the point in what He's chosen for me.

Some days I feel like He's opening my eyes to the things that matter to Him.

And no matter the day, I know I can count on one thing.

He is trustworthy.

His choices for me are trustworthy. And He knows my heart. He made my heart. He knows the desires of my heart. And the more I sink into Him, the more I can see Him molding my desires to be more in line with His. And when that happens, I begin to see. He opens my eyes to the one most important thing... Jesus in our hearts.

Living life together.

Hourly.

Moment by moment.

That we might see Him and know Him better.

That's the gift of now.

It's not the house without a leaky roof. It's not a set of four perfect children. It's not  a life that appears flawless to the world.

It's Jesus.

Just Him.







The Cowboy is home now. There's a gigantic hole in my roof that he cut out to find the leak.

My Siah, just finished up his last subject of the day and kissed this Mama on his way out the door in search of an afternoon adventure with his sisters and the neighbors.

Crazy-beautiful magnificent life is happening here.

And Jesus...

He's how we do it.

He's how home school. He's how we solve problems.
He's how we learn to love. He's how we learn to really live