Some & Most

Some days go smoothly.
Most days don't. :)





Some days, the farmhouse sparkles.
Most days it does not.





































Some days the kids are clean.
But most days the evidence of kid-life, is all over their little faces.




Some days I manage to get my Mama's homemade soup recipe on the table, a perfect meal on a snowy afternoon.

But most days  are peanut butter days (no jelly, cuz we're out and I haven't made it to the store) served on the heals of a last loaf of bread. :)

Some days school brings tears.
But most days, we're learning to fall more and more in love... with Jesus and with family. :)

Most days are loud and adventurous and messy, and oh so sweet.

But ALL days with these treasures are pure gift.

"For it is by grace you have been saved, through faith- and this is not from yourselves, it is a gift from God!" Ephesians 2:8

One Seriously Lovely Gift

I've been blogging in this quiet corner for four years now. I remember when the Cowboy first  suggested it to me and how I immediately said no thanks. Me and technology don't mesh well together.

The Cowboy set it up for me anyway and I can't even really express how grateful I am that he did.

When I first started coming to this quiet space, it was more to write down the silly things the kids did, or to post pictures of some place that we ventured off to as a family. But over the years it has become a heart place for me. A place where I can scratch out the things that I'm wading through. These messy days under this farmhouse roof are molding and shaping me in ways that I never anticipated they ever could.

In a sense this little corner is a chronicle of Him making all things beautiful.

Then Christmas came and went and the Cowboy's Mom and Grandmother gave me a gift that has blessed my heart beyond measure and they put my scratchings into five lovely books....

 

Every last post is now a memory that the pudgy little hands under this farmhouse roof can touch.

The books sit on my great grandmother's chest, the one that tucked behind our couch. Almost daily, the treasures pick up a book or two and flip through the memories. They love seeing themselves and love talking about the places they've been and the people that have been in their lives.

And me, I love reading and remembering what the Lord has done. How He takes me and refines me, and shows me His heart for me.

I got the fifth and final book from the mailbox last night, pulled the book out of the box and flipped to the dedication page... Thank You Lord that it really is the way we're all learning to hand out grace around here that's moving us further into You.

I flipped through the pages and remembered The List, the 50 things that reminded me of the great gift God has given me in the Cowboy.

I remembered the Dancing Girl and the heart that her heavenly Papa gave her, and the the day that she gave her hair so that others might feel beautiful.

I remembered the ways that He's been drawing me into His Word... Remembered that that process isn't over yet... I thanked Him that I am always a work in progress.

My prayer is that these pages may one day be an encouragement to these four treasures of mine.

Maybe one day when they grow up and have their own families, these pages will make them laugh, give them hope, remind them that there really is no better way to live than to learn the art of acceptance with joy in whatever He gives.

Perhaps they'll read these words and never feel alone as they learn to wade through their own messy days where ever they might be?

A thousands thanks for this precious gift.
Love you both dearly. :)

Thinking On His Perfect Grace

I know how hard it is because I struggle with the very same thing.

I know how frustrating it can be when the spunky girl still tunes you out after the fiftieth time that you've tried to tell her something. I know that anger that rises deep within when someone takes your lego-masterpiece, throws it on the floor, breaks it, then runs the other way laughing.

I get it.

I truly get it.

And when My Siah looses it on his sister for the umpteenth time on a Tuesday, I send him up to his room and tell him that I'll join him in awhile for a little chat.

How Lord, am I to hold this son accountable to the very things that I too struggle with?

I've read it a thousand times.

And I know with my whole heart that it's true...

"Do I really smother my own joy because I believe that anger achieves more than love? That Satan's way is more powerful, more practical, more fulfilling in my daily life than Jesus' way? Why else get angry?"

That tone... the one that creeps into this farmhouse WAY TO OFTEN... it's this Mama believing that the Enemies ways are better than the One who calls Himself LOVE.

And I've passed on this trait to my son.






The son that sits up in his room... I've got to find a way into his heart. But how when my own example flails?

I wipe down the last of the kitchen counters and pray fervently for my son and I and the way that our words move around in this house.

I make my way up the stairs and quietly open his door, peek in. He's sobbing on his bed and before I can even offer a word, he says it loud and clear and I am at a total loss...

"Why am I such a bad boy? I just keep on being bad."

All I wanna do is hold him... so I do just that.

Does he know that I ask the Lord nearly everyday that same question? The treasures and I, we talk daily of how all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Is that what I talk about with my son in this moment?

Or is now simply another opportunity for the glorious joy and hope of the gospel?

I remind that sweet boy of mine that he's not alone.

"Remember your Mama and the way she flails with you and the way she forgets and the way she lets that yucky enemy in?


Remember the way that He loves those who believe in Him?

Remember that grace, the kind He offers so freely?

Remember how we read just this morning the amazing power that the disciples received when the Holy Spirit came upon them in that upper room?

Here we are, you and me in this upper-attic room of yours, and that same Holy Spirit is here with you and me that was there with the disciples. Son. we might keep on struggling with these words of ours for a very long time. But each time we forget that love trumps anger, we need only to go to the cross, and there, find a gentle reminder to choose Him."

My Siah sat there under his covers and his weeping turned into whimpering and him and I we confessed our mouths (Mama too, cuz I am the chief of sinners in this home), and we asked our sweet Lord for strength, that He might do in us what we are unable to do in ourselves.

____________


I've held my boy several times this week.

Once he said to me,

"How many times can I be forgiven Mama?"

"Endless," I told him with a heart filled smile on my face.

"There is nothing you could ever do to make Him love you less. Nothing."

"He forgives as far as the east is from the west....
Seventy times seven...
And while on the cross He pleaded with His Father,
"Father forgive them for they know not what they do..."

Even in our worst moment He offered us forgiveness.

He forgives before we even ask.

He is perfect grace. And He gives freely... simply because you know Him and you've said that your life is His."

My son, I know things under this roof are so far from perfect. I know that we bruise one another... often.  But in the learning I pray that you would never doubt His extravagant love for you!

"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony." (colossians 3:12-14)






Lord, thank you for this farmhouse, these kids, mistakes, and forgiveness.

It's all making us run straight into You.


Out of the messy days, You are making all things beautiful.

The Charmer

The Charmer...

What can I say? I went to take pictures of his cast so that I might be able to put out a little update on his arm and I find him on the living room floor coloring his see-through, white wisps with a green marker.

And in his other hand??

A green stamp.

What's a Mama to do.......??

Take pictures anyway of that sweet boy face!

We took him to the orthopedic surgeon yesterday.

His fracture really isn't all that bad.
But because he's an active little man, they put a cast on anyway so that he wouldn't continue to injure his arm every time he used it. :)

We picked black in honor of the Cowboy. It's his favorite color. :)

And as you can see, the Charmer doesn't seem to care in the slightest that he has this massive thing on his arm. For that, we are so grateful! :)

First Things

The spunky girl got her hair cut this week for the first time.

She loves it! 

This girl does not struggle with any sort of self esteem issues over here! :)

When we got home, she looked in the mirror and declared to herself,

"Man, I look BEAUTIFUL!!!" 

Hilarious! 

Honestly, I have no idea where she came from. I love her spunky little personality but she's nothing like me, nor the Cowboy.

She rarely ever stops talking. 

She LOVES sweets!

She loves pasta and coloring, and dressing up, and anything purple. 

She's convinced that "sparkly" should be everyone's favorite color. 

Her idol just might be Fancy Nancy.

She always wants her nails painted and a thousand clips in her and sh'e been walking around the house with her pinky in the air calling people "Darling."

I LOVE this girl. 

All That's Needed Are His Eyes

I had this feeling that he just might be the first.









It's been those kind of weeks here on the farm.

The ones where we pass the ailments around, and one by one the six of us living under this farmhouse roof have more opportunity to practice a bit of the real meaning of patience... acceptance with joy.

First the dancing girl with a UTI, then the boys with the flu... then the Mama with the flu.

And when all seems to be on the mend...

That little Charmer of ours tumbles all the way down the stairs at a friends house and earns himself a lovely trip to the ER with his Mama.

And to add to the loveliness of it all, it turns out that I forgot to turn in the paper work to renew the little Charmers health insurance. And I can't complete the paper work without his birth certificate. And well... Bummer... I still haven't gotten one of those for him either. :)

These weren't the plans I had for our week.

Now it's Friday morning and  I feel my shoulders tightening and I text a prayer friend for some reinforcement.

Taking a deep breath, I head to the kitchen, cut up some strawberries to pack in their lunch and I mumble frustration under my breath. A little one comes in and I spout off something quick, something harsh, and the little one begins to cry.

Her tears rip me right out of my pity party and I just can't stand the way that enemy gets the very best of me sometimes.

I make it right quick and pull that treasure in close and we hold each other long.

All I want Lord is your eyes. I just need to see what you see.

I know that you've been working on this jar of clay for some time now. I know I'm not the same woman I was just a few years ago, a few months ago, maybe even a few days ago.

How does it go again?

Oh ya...

There is always hope in You... Always.

And I know that you're real because I find myself standing there in that kitchen and my heart starts to see the very things that I couldn't even think upon just five minutes before.


There on the fridge is that list of the ways that You love me, that list that has been changing me all year long.

I grab that red pen on the counter and I write it all down and you open my eyes to Your extravagant love.

Thank you Lord that I even have an opportunity to have insurance for my children.

Thank you that I there's gas in my car to get me to the places that I need to go to get the things that I need for these treasures of mine.

Thank you for dear friends that take the oldest treasures in for the afternoon so that they don't have to be drug all over town all afternoon.

Thank you that we live here in this place, near a hospital that provides incredible care, the best in the world. Thank you for access to such care for the ones that I hold so dear. 

I leave the farmhouse and set out into all that had to be done on a Friday afternoon, with a little boy in tote who is still refusing to move his right arm. And I must say that I not only did I find acceptance in what He had chosen to give me in today, but I found acceptance with joy.

That's the way He loves. 

"Therefore we do not lose heart. Though outwardly we are wasting away, yet inwardly we are being renewed day by day. For our light and momentary troubles are achieving for us and eternal glory that far outweighs them all. SO we fix our eyes not on what is seen, but on what is unseen. For what is seen is temporary, but what is unseen is eternal."

The day has come to an end.

And He was there, in every place.

At the records office I was the only one in line.
At the insurance office I was in and out in less than an hour.
At the ER, they took us right in and got the Charmer an X-ray right away on his little arm.

And the added bonus was this little face looking up at me all day.

{The Charmer in the ER}

Thank you Lord for the rare gift of having a whole afternoon alone with this little one. 

Thank you that even though it turned out that he fractured both bones in his little right arm falling down those stairs, he still spent the afternoon all up in smiles and giggles. 

Thank you that he walked himself right out of the ER, full of little man pride in his new dinosaur sling.

Thank you that he cheered up the old woman in the waiting room with his stellar smile and his made-up words as he showed her those dinosaurs.

Thank you that when we walked in the door after a long day together, the Cowboy had dinner already in the oven.

Thank you for the way the two of them say their names back and forth at each other in a deep man voice every time they see one another... "Jeddy!" "Papa!" "Jeddy!" "Papa!" Thank you that they both end up in giggles.

Thank you for the Cowboy and the way he helps a Mama out.

Thank you for the way he loves on and cherishes each one of our treasures. 

Thank you that I get to do this life, all this life with a man like the Cowboy. 

Thank you for making us a good team.

Thank you that we're home now, and the farmhouse is warm, and the treasures are all sound asleep in their beds. 

Thank you that tonight the Cowboy and I laughed about silly things together, us all tied up together on the little couch in the corner. 

Thank you for eyes to see what you've already always known...

A Savior so madly in love with His beloved that He so graciously opens her eyes to the thousands of ways that He loves each and every day.

{#'s 715-731 of the list of ways that He loves.}